Fade
by Brandywine421
Summary: R for language. A follow up to the finale of Angel. Updated 7.30.03 ***Yet another chapter in this seemingly endless story--expect the return of many characters!!***
1. 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Angel except the first season DVD collection. You can't just buy these things at Best Buy like the DVD's, that would be in a perfect world. 

Set after the end of Buffy and the finale of Angel ("Home"). 

Pairings: In this section: Robin/Faith, mention of Cordy/Angel, mention of Wes/Lilah. After this section: I haven't decided.

Author's note: This is just another stream of consciousness fic that I'm starting that seems to be taking on a life of it's own. I have unfinished fic's all over this site but I PROMISE to finish this one. It will all make sense in the end, if anyone's interested. Review if you want, I'll finish it either way, I'll just be happy if you read it. J All the lyrics are from Jack Johnson's latest album "On and On". 

****

"…there were so many fewer questions 

when stars were still just the holes to heaven…"

"Baby, will you just look at me? Open those big blue eyes and look at me…please…don't do this to me right now…Please, Wes…" Her panicked voice penetrates the darkness that is thickening around him.

"Faith! We have to get out of here!" Another voice yells in the distance.

"I knew this was a bad idea," Faith mutters. He loses her voice then, the fog muffles everything and it is quiet. And very dark.

****

A month earlier

"Mr. Wyndham-Pryce? We've been trying to contact you for three days…" A timid voice shatters his drunken peace.

"Excuse me, do I know you?" Wesley turns, not recognizing the voice. 

"I work for Wolfram and Hart. I work for you," The petite woman in a business suit responds, quickly.

"Okay," Wes shrugs, turning back to the bar and resuming his drinking. 

"Mr. Angel…" The lady begins.

"Mr. Angel can get in touch with me if he needs me," Wesley replies coldly.

"Mr. Wyndham-Pryce, it's very urgent…" 

Wes glares at the woman. "It always is. Can't you see I'm in the middle of a drunken binge?"

"Can anybody join that party?" A familiar voice raises Wes' eyebrows.

"Faith," Wes smiles slightly.

"Piss off, lady. I need to talk to my…acquaintance over here," Faith grins, nudging the lawyer lady aside and perching on the barstool beside Wes.

"I think we're a little more than acquaintances at this point. I don't know if there's a word for what we are," Wes says, his face of stone returning.

"Mr. Wyndham-Pryce, please listen to me…" The lawyer says, holding a cell phone to her ear as she speaks.

"Listen. I will call Angel in the morning. If it's urgent, he'll find me. Now, please heed Faith's advice and piss off." 

"What's her deal?" Faith asks as the lady walks away in a huff.

"It's a long story. What are you doing here, Faith?" Wes asks, motioning for the bartender for another drink. Faith orders a whiskey.

"You heard about Sunnydale?" Faith asks.

"Quite. Rupert actually called to invite me to join the Council he's rebuilding. He said they were creating teams to spread across the U.S. He explained about the activation of all the Slayers in the world. I turned him down, of course. I'm currently involved in something…different. Again I ask. What are you doing here?" His voice is flat.

"I got L.A. Buffy and Dawn are taking Cleveland. Giles and Xander are taking Miami while Willow and Kennedy are partying down in Louisiana. Robin and I got L.A." Faith says.

"Robin. Robin Wood?" Wes questions, recognizing the name.

"Yeah. But he's a little under the weather, still recovering from the battle. He's had a few complications, but he's coming along," Faith replies. 

"So the reason for this visit?" Wes asks.

"I need a temporary partner. Just until Robin is back up to speed. Angel's…" Faith's voice falters.

"Have you tried to reach him since you came into town?" Wes asks.

"No. I thought of you first," Faith says, quietly.

Wes is silent, thinking. "Robin's human. You need to learn to work with someone that can't kick your ass," He says after a pause.

"Wes…" Faith looks apologetic.

"No, it's a smart decision. Working with Angel, you'd expect your partner to be able to take as much as you can but Robin and I can't the same as you." Wes says, his blue eyes sincere. "You have changed. I can tell by the way you look. Is it Robin?"

Faith blushes and Wes finds himself smiling for the first time in days. "I didn't think you could blush."

"It's not all Robin. I mean, he's great, he cares about me and he's amazing in the sack…"

"Faith, please," Wes mutters, turning his face away.

"Wes. Are you okay?" Faith asks, suddenly.

"Not really. Is it a requirement for the offer?" Wes responds, seriously.

"Nah. As long as you're still on top of your game," Faith shrugs.

"Well, let's go hunting. Afterwards, maybe you can introduce me to Robin. I don't want him to think I'm replacing him before he even gets a chance to be the Slayer's sidekick," Wes remarks. 

"Wes, you're drunk, are you sure you're…" Faith starts, standing up.

"I'm not drunk, Faith. Two more hours of this and I'd be drunk. Nothing like adrenaline to sober up," Wes replies, turning suddenly and pinning the vampire that is standing behind him in the shadows. The stake in his wrist holster snaps out and the vampire turns to dust. "You were going to let him bite me?"

"Just seeing if you were still on your game, Wes. Let's go," Faith grins.

After patrolling and taking out a few vampires and assorted uglies, Faith hops off Wes' bike outside the ratty apartment building she has rented for herself and Robin. 

"Who's backing you, Faith? Do you and Robin have any money?" Wes asks, outside the door to Faith's apartment.

"We have a small fund. 200 dollars a month from some life insurance policies Buffy and the others are beneficiaries for. I was going to get a job…"

"Angel and I can help with that. Remember Wolfram and Hart?" Wes asks. 

"Yeah, evil law firm…" Faith nods, struggling with her keys, distracted.

"Angel runs it now. Not evil, or so they keep telling us. Gunn, Fred, Lorne and I are all employed by them. I'm sure we can offer the two of you some income," Wes says.

"Really?" Faith asks, swinging open the door to the apartment.

"I really hate rats," Robin says, stretched out on the couch in the center of the room. Wesley glances around. He notes Robin's crutches and the corner of luggage. There are several dead rats, nailed to the floor with knives that Robin has been throwing.

"Happy hunting?" Faith asks, kissing him gently as she perches on the couch's arm.

"Damned rats. Is this Wesley?" Robin asks.

Wesley shakes his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Wood. I've actually heard a lot about you. Your mother was an amazing woman. I had a huge crush on her as a child," He says.

"You knew my mother?" 

"When I was very young, six or seven. She was around the council a lot and she always went out of her way to be nice to me. I'm sure she was a great mother," Wesley replies.

"She was. So Faith hasn't told me much about you, except that she trusts you enough to let you watch her back," Robin replies.

Wes raises an eyebrow towards Faith. "That's a surprise. Faith and I have a rather…complicated history. But it is history." He glances around the shabby apartment again. "Have you unpacked?"

"We just got here yesterday," Faith replies.

"Get your things together. You cannot possibly stay in this place another night," Wes sighs. 

"Wes…" Faith starts.

"No arguments. I own a house down the street. Not in this part of town, but secluded. It has a large training area that you can practice in, help Robin get back on his feet."

"You want us to move in with you?" Robin questions.

"I don't live there. I just own it. I live across town in an apartment. It's furnished and…"

"Why don't you live there, Wes?" Faith interrupts.

Wes allows himself a small smile. "I couldn't deal with all the space. It made me nervous. I like my apartment but it's always nice to have several bases of operations. Get your things," He says.

"Robin? You down?" Faith asks, smiling.

"I really hate rats, Faith. Let's go." 

Faith helps Robin down the stairs while Wes carries their sparse luggage. He calls a taxi and the three soon arrive at Wes' house. 

"It's fucking huge," Faith gasps

"No rats," Wes states, flatly. He unlocks the door and hands the keys to Faith. "Don't burn it down the first night. I'll stop by sometime tomorrow to discuss employment opportunities," Wes says, turning to leave.

"Wes?" Faith follows him outside. Robin starts to limp around the house, turning on the lights.

"Faith, we'll talk tomorrow," Wes says. "You should be safe here. I keep some weapons in the kitchen pantry…"

"Why are you doing this for me?" Faith asks.

Wes looks at her with cold blue eyes. "Because you've done what I could not. You've fought your way out of the darkness inside. You give me hope for myself. Don't stress about this, Faith. You're doing good. Think of this as your reward. It's the least I can do. Now go be with Robin."

Faith watches him climb into the waiting cab and drive off in the direction of his bike. Finally, she steps inside.

"What's up?" Robin asks, twirling a sword he found in the kitchen.

"Wes. He was different when he busted me out of jail, but I thought…I thought something would have changed by now. He's still cold and…it's like he's not even there. I'm worried about him and it doesn't seem like anybody else is worrying about him," She replies.

Wes arrives back at his apartment just after sunrise. He unlocks the door and steps inside, pouring himself a scotch as soon as the door is closed behind him.

"Where've you been, lover?" A voice calls from the bedroom.

"Lilah. Are we really going to make this a habit again?" Wes responds, quietly, closing his eyes.

"Come on, Wes, just because I'm dead doesn't mean I'm not still ferocious in bed," She grins, walking up behind him in her skimpy nightgown. "I missed you."

"Lilah. No. Not tonight," Wes sighs, trying to ignore her breath on his neck and her wandering hands. He doesn't know why she isn't cold to the touch, why she can breathe. She never answers his questions. Her touch makes him forget his questions.

"That's what you say every night," Lilah replies, licking the back of his neck,

His hands start to shake so he swiftly downs the liquor that he knows will steady his hands. 

"I only have a few more days, Wes. Please…don't make me be alone…" She whispers in his ear, turning him around and stifling his protests with a deep kiss. "Okay, Wesley?"

He doesn't respond but lets her pull him into the bedroom. 


	2. 2

"I don't pretend to know what you know

now please don't pretend to know what's on my mind

if we already knew everything that everybody knows

we would have nothing to learn tonight

and we would have nothing to show tonight…"

"Faith?" Robin calls, waking up alone in the large bed.

"Over here. By the window," Faith replies. Robin gets up and slowly makes his way over to her side. 

"Everything okay?" He asks.

"Yeah. No. This sucks. I mean, you're in pain and…" Faith starts to rant.

Robin kisses her, silencing her before she can get started. "Faith. It's all working out. We're doing better today than yesterday, right? Did you call Buffy and the others with your new number?"

"Yeah. 'B said that Angel's been waiting for me to call, he knew I was coming. They're keeping in touch or something. She was surprised I had seen Wes. She said he's been out of touch with everyone in the L.A. crowd. Hasn't been going to work and stuff."

"What is it between you and Wes. You ready to tell me about that 'complicated history'?" Robin asks, sitting down in the window seat with her.

"He was my watcher. He was different then, anal and controlling. Really green, didn't know what he was doing. After I got out of my coma…during the evil Faith days…I came to L.A. Tortured him. Nearly killed him. I turned myself in…Wes kept the watcher's council's goons from killing me…he busted me out of jail when he needed help a few months ago. That's the condensed version," Faith says, quietly.

"What are you going to do, Faith?"

"I'm going to see Angel," Faith replies.

Wes barely registers the sound of knocking at his door. He blinks away the familiar hangover pain and manages to stumble to the door. Lilah is gone, as she is every morning. He opens the door a crack, the chain still on.

"Wesley?" 

"Fred." He unchains the door and opens it for her. She steps inside before he can invite her. 

"I found you. I told Angel he should be sending someone to your house. What's going on, Wes?" Fred's face is drawn with concern.

"Nothing new. How are you, Fred?" Wes asks, pulling a shirt on and trying to conceal his trembling hands.

"Okay. You haven't been at work. You've missed the meeting six days in a row. We're worried about you," Fred says, quietly, glancing around the apartment. It is immaculate, as if no one lives in the apartment. 

"I'm fine. It's been kind of quiet. I just assumed if I was needed that I would be found," Wes replies.

"You are needed, Wes. Maybe not because of an imminent apocalypse or anything, but you're still needed. Lilah…she waits for you in your office every day. She just sits there…" Fred starts.

"I know," Wes says, turning away.

"It's her, isn't it? Lilah," Fred gasps.

"No, Fred. Nothing's wrong. I promise. I'll come to work today. See what Angel wants. Will I need an appointment?" Wes questions, not facing Fred as he speaks.

"No, Wes. You know that. I'll wait for you to get ready…" Fred starts.

"No, that's okay. I'll be sitting at my desk in under an hour. Okay?" Wes asks, finally turning and meeting her steady gaze.

"Okay, Wes. You…you'd tell me if something were wrong, right? You know you could tell me," Fred says, quietly.

"I know, Fred. Everything's okay," Wes replies. Fred sighs. She leaves and Wes makes his breakfast of scotch and coffee and gets ready to head into the office.

"Tell Angel that Faith is here to see him. He'll know who I am," Faith tells the receptionist in the lobby of the Hyperion.

"Have a seat over there," The lady instructs, pointing to a seating area beside a fountain in the lobby. 

Faith sits down, nervous in the big, impersonal lobby. She glances around, but sees no one that she recognizes. 

"Talking about moving on up…" She mutters.

"Faith. We finally got a piece of the pie," Angel smiles, startling her.

"I'll say."

"Let's go to my office. You're looking…healthy as always," Angel says, escorting her into the elevator.

"Thanks, I think. I talked to 'B today. She said you've been expecting me?"

"Buffy filled me in on the Sunnydale stuff. She said you and the principal…Robin, I think…were coming to set up shop in L.A. I assumed you'd get in touch when you got here," Angel replies, leading her into his office.

"I…I talked to Wes last night," Faith replies, quietly.

"You found Wes? Damn, girl. We've been trying to catch up to him for days. Is he…" Angel's face flashes with relief for a moment before returning to its normal indifference.

"He's…I guess he's still Wes. Smelled like a liquor store, but he's kicking ass like a pro. I asked him if he would patrol with me until Robin gets better and he agreed. He came back with me to meet Robin, saw our shitty apartment and he's letting us stay in this house he owns over on Sunset," Faith explains.

Angel is pensive. "That's good. Wes is taking care of you," He says.

"What?" Faith asks, seeing his confused expression.

"Something's going on with Wes. Everyone else has settled into our new situation…but Wes seems to be distancing himself from everyone and everything. What did you think when you saw him?"

Faith sighs. "He…I don't know Angel. Besides the drinking, I mean…he looks beaten. Like he just doesn't care. When we were fighting together last night, it was like he had purpose, he was possessed or something, but when we killed all the vamps…he was cold again. Dead."

There is a timid knock on Angel's office door. 

"Come in, Fred," Angel calls.

"Hey, Angel. Hi, Faith. You made it through the apocalypse?" Fred gives a tentative smile toward the dark slayer.

"You, too. Yay for us," Faith replies.

"I went by Wesley's this morning. He promised he'd show up for today's meeting. He promised," Fred says.

"Faith saw him last night. He's helping her out," Angel says. "Good job tracking him down, Fred. I should have listened to you and posted someone at his apartment."

"Should we make Lilah…" Fred starts.

"Lilah? I thought she was dead," Faith questions, startled.

"Not entirely. She has a contract with Wolfram and Hart that extends beyond death. We don't really know how to classify her…she's not dead, but she's…dead," Fred explains.

"What does she want? I thought you were a good law firm now," Faith asks.

"She's our…damn, why do we keep her around?" Fred asks Angel.

"She's only here for a few more days and then her obligation is over. She'll be sent back to hell. I sent out a memo," Angel replies, seriously.

"Didn't Wes…kind of…chop her head off?" Faith asks, hesitant.

"Yeah. You can see the stitches when she takes off her creepy scarf. It's not keeping her down. Angel…I think she's got something to do with why Wes doesn't come in to work."

"What are you thinking?" Angel asks, after a thoughtful pause.

"She's creepy. That's about as far as I got," Fred replies.

"Sounds like a pretty good reason to me. Creepy chick that he decapitated chilling in his office, well, it sounds creepy to me," Faith agrees.

"Not to mention that Wes and Lilah have a history…" Angel sighs.

"What kind of history?" Faith asks, alert.

"They were…fuck-buddies," Fred replies.

"Fred. Language," Angel says, smiling slightly.

"Are you serious? Lilah and Wes? Damn…you don't think they're still…" Faith says.

"No. I mean…Angel?" Fred is clearly surprised by the question. "Angel, do you think…"

"I don't know. I haven't thought about it. I know Wes feels guilty for the whole decapitation thing but I didn't consider that they might still be…involved…" Angel replies, honestly.

"I'm going to go ahead and head up to the board room for the meeting. Maybe Lorne knows something," Fred sighs. "Faith. Are you coming to the meeting?"

"Does Wes have you on the payroll yet?" Angel asks Faith.

"No. He said he'd stop by sometime today…" Faith begins.

"Let's go by his office, see if he's in yet," Angel says, and they follow Fred out into the lobby.

"So where's the rest of your crew?" Faith asks. "Haven't seen Cordy…"

"She's around. Comatose. Probably permanently, we can't find a cure," Angel replies, quickly. "Lorne and Gunn are still around. Gunn…he's different now. It seems he's our guidance now. Lorne's still the same empath demon he's always been, just richer now."

They stop in front of an office across the building from Angel's office. Angel walks in without knocking and they find Lilah sitting at Wes' desk. She has several black candles burning as well as some incense. She is reading something from a spellbook.

"What the hell are you doing?" Angel asks, jerking the book from her hands. Faith takes the book from him as he pushes Lilah against the wall.

"Aren't you late for your meeting?" Lilah asks, trying to cover her surprise.

"I can't read this, Angel," Faith says, studying the page that Lilah was reading from. 

"Lilah. I know you only have a few days left. What are you doing with this book? Don't lie, I'll find out the truth…" Angel growls, leaning closer to her. 

"I…I…" Lilah stammers. 

"Lilah." Angel realizes something and releases her. "You've been with Wesley. Does this spell have to do with Wesley?"

"Angel. Wes and I…" Lilah begins.

"You've cast a spell on him, haven't you? Is this it?" Angel asks, taking the book from Faith and looking at it for the first time. "A binding of souls…eternally entwined…"

"You want to take Wes down with you?" Faith accuses.

"No, not exactly…" Lilah replies.

"What have you done?" Angel asks, putting the book down. 

"Fuck both of you for judging me. I'm damned. It's my fault and I'm not offering excuses for it, but it's fact. I'm going back to hell. I just wanted…I just wanted to feel loved for the short time I was here…Wes is…I think he loved me before…in his own way…I was just trying to have something real while I was here…" She stammers, flushed.

"It's not real, Lilah, you're putting a spell on him to make him want you. How long have you been doing this?" Angel asks. Faith is silent, thoughtful.

"It…it only works sometimes. This spell…it's different from the others, it's real…" Lilah starts.

"What other spells?" Angel demands.

"I'm not hurting him, Angel…" Lilah protests.

"Like hell you aren't. What other spells?" Angel repeats.

Lilah names off several spells and Angel jots them down. "You can't take this away from me, Angel…he's all I have…"

"He's not yours!" Faith snaps. "He doesn't belong to you, Lilah. The only reason he's with you is because you're casting these fucking spells."

Angel glances at her, a concerned expression on his face. 

"He tried to save me, to break my contract…he loves me, I know he does…" Lilah replies, uncertainly.

"Wesley tries to save everyone, Lilah. Out of duty, not always out of love. Face it. You're not special. You're evil. Leave him alone," Angel says.

"No. I won't. I can't…" Lilah says.

"I'll have you taken away, Lilah. I can lock you up until they come to take you to hell. Is that what you want?" Angel asks, quietly.

"Why do you care, Angel? I've been doing this for weeks now, and you never noticed. You haven't seen Wes in weeks, why do you suddenly care now?" Lilah questions, angry.

Angel pushes a button on Wes' desk. Lilah seems to deflate. She collapses in Wes' chair. "Wes is family, Lilah. And you're hurting him. I'm sorry."

Several men in business suits rush into the office. 

"Take Mrs. Morgan to a holding area. Make her comfortable. Make it clear that no one is to be admitted visitation except myself. She's to be monitored constantly until her time is up," Angel tells the men. They escort her from the room.

"I'm going to head up to the meeting and get my people on these spells. See what she's been doing to Wes. Can you find him?" Angel asks, stopping by the door.

"I guess. You got an address for me to start?" Faith asks.

Angel scrawls down Wes' address and hands it to Faith. "You are going to be on the payroll, right?"

"We'll discuss my salary once I bring Wes in. You want him here?" Faith asks.

"Yeah. Call me when you find him…hopefully we'll know more then," Angel smiles.


	3. 3

*****

Faith stops by the house to check on Robin before going to Wes' apartment. She is surprised to find Wes' motorcycle parked outside.

"Robin?"

"We're in the living room, Faith," Robin calls.

Faith steps inside, unsure of what to expect. Robin is sprawled out on the couch, surrounded by papers and books. Wesley is sitting in the chair nearby, flipping pages in a book.

"I thought Robin might be getting a little restless sitting at home all the time. I brought him something to keep him occupied," Wes says.

"I'm an official consultant to Wolfram and Hart," Robin says, smiling. His smile drops. "What is it, Faith?"

"I went to see Angel. I'm supposed to bring you back with me, Wes. There's some news," Faith says, sitting beside Robin on the couch. 

"Really?" Wes asks, looking up for the first time. He glances at his watch. "Damn. I promised Fred I'd make today's meeting."

"I think they'll wait for you this time," Faith says, quietly.

Wes examines Faith with cold blue eyes. "What is it?"

"Why didn't you tell anyone about…Lilah?"

Wes visibly flinches. "What?"

"Lilah. She's been coming to see you. You didn't feel like you had to tell anyone?" Faith asks, speaking quietly as not to upset him. 

Wes is silent. Faith realizes that the man is trembling uncontrollably. She realizes suddenly that Wesley looks like hell. His eyes are sunken and the circles look like bruises under his eyes. He is as pale as Angel, who hasn't been in the sun in decades.

"Wesley. She's been putting spells on you," Faith says, quietly.

"What?" Wes asks, distracted.

"Spells. Hocus pocus. Bad mojo. She's been making you want her," Faith says, giving Robin a glance to assure him that she will explain.

"Bloody hell. Well…it certainly explains a lot…" Wes mutters, putting a hand to his head.

"Angel's looking into it. He should have some more details when I get you back to Wolfram and Hart," Faith says. 

"I don't think…I think I need a little time to myself," Wes says.

"Sounds like your friends are worried about you," Robin says to his new friend.

"Doubtful," Wes mutters. "Faith. I'm sure they don't need me there for the research. Angel has taken care of Lilah, I assume?"

"Yeah, Wes. He put her in a safe place. Away from you. But you still have to come with me. At least show them that you're okay."

"Well I don't know if I'm okay. But I'm not going down there today. I'm going home," Wesley says, standing up. "Robin, that doctor I told you about will be stopping by to see you sometime this afternoon." He starts to leave the room.

"Hey. It's not going to be that easy. I promised Angel that I'd bring you in," Faith says, grabbing his arm.

"I don't want to fight you, Faith. We all know who would win. I just want to go home. I'll be by tonight for our patrol. I suddenly feel very tired," Wes sighs, his eyes flashing suddenly from the cold standard she is familiar with, to a light anguished blue. Then the cold returns. She releases him.

"Faith. Take him home, he shouldn't be driving!" Robin calls, quietly.

"Will you let me take you home?" Faith asks, quietly.

"I can manage. I'll be back tonight, Faith. I'll be at my apartment if Angel or the others need to reach me. I just really think I should…sleep." Wes nods to her with a slight smile and leaves.

"Whoa. He's a piece of work," Robin says as Faith sits down beside him, letting him put his arm around her.

"I…damn. What did you two talk about?" Faith asks, interested.

"He's very intelligent. I'm amazed that he didn't get along with Mr. Giles. He's also very…dark. Tormented. He reminds me of myself a few years back, except…he's on a whole other level. What happened to him, Faith? Who's Lilah?"

Faith sighs. "It's a long story. Lilah was this evil lawyer from Wolfram and Hart, that's the place Angel and Wes and his gang have taken over. Anyway, it seems that Wes and Lilah were doing the nasty before L.A.'s last apocalypse. She came to the Hyperion, that's the hotel that used to be their home base, for protection after the beast nearly killed her. Angelus bit her. Wes chopped her head off. Then it turned out that Cordelia really killed her. Anyways, she had a clause in her contract that extends beyond death. She's walking around with stitches holding her head on. Her time here is almost up and she has to go to hell, but she's been using magic on Wes to keep him bound to her. She's trying to make him love her."

"That's definitely a long story. Poor guy," Robin winces.

"I'm going to call Angel," Faith says, walking from the room.

"Yeah?" Angel answers.

"It's Faith."

"Did you find him?" Angel asks.

"Yeah. I let him go."

"You let him go? What does that mean?" Angel demands.

"I told him that Lilah was using the magic on him, Angel. He said he needed to get some sleep and that he really wanted to go home. I let him. He looks so tired…so hurt. He promised he'd be back tonight for patrol and that he would be at his apartment if you guys needed to contact him. He promised, Angel," Faith sighs. 

"Okay. I'm going to go talk to him. We're having trouble with some of the translations…I don't trust Wolfram and Hart's goons with something this serious."

"It's been upgraded to serious?" Faith asks.

"If it involves my friends, then it's serious, Faith. Can I ask you something?"

"Depends on the question."

"Why are you so…intense about Wes? I thought you were going to snap Lilah's head off in Wes' office today," Angel asks.

"I feel sorry for the guy. He's not a bad guy, Angel, he's just in a dark place. You and I, we know about that dark place, right? You pulled me out of my spiral, but who's going to do it for Wes?" Faith replies.

"There's nothing else?"

"I'm with Robin, Angel. He's the first man I can say that I really love. There's nothing between Wes and me except tentative friendship. Why?" Faith asks.

"Nothing. Nothing…serious."

"Angel, tell me," Faith demands.

Angel sighs. "I'll swing by after I see Wes. I need to meet this Robin guy. See if I approve…"

"Fuck you, Angel," Faith laughs. 

"Thanks for your help today, Faith. I'll keep you informed," Angel promises.

Faith returns to the living room and curls up on the couch with Robin. 

"You alright, Baby?" Robin asks, kissing her forehead.

"Yeah. I think I am. I think this place is going to be okay for us. This town, I mean," Faith replies.

"You think?"

"Yeah. Angel and the guys, they're different from Buffy's gang. They know about pain and regret, about sin and redemption. They have some trust issues, but they accept me," Faith replies.

"I hope you can find your peace here, then. Maybe I can find mine, too," He smiles.

*****

Wes parks his bike beside his S.U.V. He finds his way to his apartment in a fog. The lack of sleep and buildup of alcohol has finally taken over. He is on autopilot.

Lilah using magic on him. Casting spells to make him want her. Wes collapses on his couch, his mind working too fast for him to focus on simple tasks like eating or making tea. Why didn't he realize that he was being tricked? He knew that he didn't want her, didn't trust her or believe anything that she told him, but he still…he made love to her. No, not made love, he fucked her. He couldn't keep his hands off her when he was in her presence.

Wes shakes his head, leaning over and putting his head between his knees as he tries to make sense of the thoughts bouncing around in his jumbled mind. 

Spells. There were always side effects of magic. Maybe what is happening to him is because of Lilah's spells. The insomnia, the paranoia, the intense anxiety that he feels whenever he's around anyone related to Angel Investigations; what if all of that is due to Lilah's spells?

No. He's going mad, that's the only solution. He has to drink constantly to quell his shakes now. The only time he feels even remotely 'normal' is when he is focused on a battle or a fight. The madness…insanity is eating away at his mind. His father would be so proud to know that his son is succumbing to the paralytic madness that took his grandmother and 2 uncles.

Wes stands up and slams his fist into the wall in frustration. He can't think straight, his mind is rebelling against him, refusing to make sense of anything. He ignores the pain from his rapidly swelling hand and grabs the half-empty bottle of scotch from the table. He goes into his bedroom and finishes the bottle in a few gulps, allowing himself to enjoy the burning in his empty stomach. He wonders, as he lies down on the bed, when the last time is that he put anything besides alcohol in his stomach. He can't remember.

His bed smells like Lilah. Sweet, sweaty, passionate Lilah, who waits for him, like a vulture to come home from his drinking. She knows he drinks, she doesn't care. She just waits until she can have his skin against hers and that is all she needs to survive. She whispers things that he doesn't believe in his ears and he lets her. He listens to her and drowns her out with his mouth.

Why didn't he realize that she was doing something to him?

Because he wanted it. He wanted her. He needed her. What was different this time? He allowed her in his bed before she was dead, why should it be different now?

Necrophilia. The word has crossed his mind several times but Lilah…she's alive, he can feel the heat from her skin, the lust in her breath…the stitches in her neck…

He has to throw up. He manages to make it to the bathroom and vomit. He wishes he could purge himself of this feeling, the disgust, the guilt, the self-loathing that has penetrated every part of his life.

He wishes he could die but somehow, he knows that it would follow him.

He can't escape. He has been damned to live this way. It is his punishment for being a failure. 

Wes returns to the bed. He lies down and covers his head with the pillow. 

Finally, the spiraling darkness rocks him to sleep, but not to rest. Never to rest.


	4. 4

Angel knocks on the door for the third time. "Dammit, Wes, you've got to be in there," He says to himself. He finally tries the knob and finds it unlocked. "Wes knows better than to leave his doors unlocked."

He steps inside. He realizes that Fred was right about what she told him about Wes' apartment. It doesn't look like he lives in it, it's too spotless. Not like he cleans, but like nothing has been disturbed in days.

"Wes?" Angel calls. "Wesley, are you here?" 

There is no reply, but Angel follows his nose to the bedroom. He smells vomit. Alcohol. Blood. Sex. He finds Wes facedown on the bed with a pillow over his head. Angel sees that the blood is from Wes' hand, which lies limply on the bed. 

"Wes," Angel sighs. He sits down on the edge of the bed and reaches over to shake the man. As soon as his hand touches Wes' arm, Wes sits up abruptly, holding a knife in his injured hand.

"Wes, wait!" Angel protests, standing up and taking a few steps away from the panicked man.

"Angel?" Wes asks, blinking away the sleep in his eyes and lowering the knife.

"Where'd you get that knife, Wes? I didn't even see it coming…" Angel gasps, startled.

"I keep it close by. What are you doing here? How'd you get in?" Wes asks, putting a hand to his head and wincing in pain. Angel is shocked by his appearance. He realizes that he hasn't seen the man in a long time and his health seems to have deteriorated. 

"Your door was open, Wes."

"Damn. Is there something you need?" Wes asks, after a pause. He meets Angel's gaze for the first time with dull blue eyes. 

"Yeah. How are you, Wes? You look like hell…"

"You just answered your own question. I feel just like I look," Wes remarks.

"You're shaking," Angel notes.

"I know," Wes replies, looking away. 

"Faith told me that she told you about Lilah. How are you holding up?" Angel asks, quietly.

Wes shrugs. "It doesn't change anything. I should have known…I should have been able to tell…I should have tried harder to fight it…" He starts to mutter to himself and his eyes glaze slightly.

"Wes. It isn't your fault," Angel says, starting to worry about the other man's sanity.

"I knew it was wrong, Angel, I knew it. But I couldn't stop myself, I just…couldn't…she's everywhere…" Wes mutters, shaking his head. 

"Wesley. She tricked you. She wanted to enjoy the last few days she had on earth so she was using you. She thinks you love her, Wes…" Angel starts.

Wes rushes from the room and Angel hears the sound of him vomiting. He returns after several minutes. "I'm sorry, Angel…I'm not feeling so well…" He says, staggering slightly back toward the bed.

Angel steadies him as he starts to falter. Angel seats him on the bed.

"Wes. I know you're tired. When's the last time you ate something?"

"I don't know. I can't keep anything down," Wes replies, quietly.

"Lilah told us the spells that she used. We've translated some of them…" Angel starts.

"And?" Wes asks, indifferently.

"One of them…Damn, I knew I should have brought Fred to explain…One of them said that the longer you were away from Lilah, the worse you would feel. It's making you sick to be away from her," Angel says, gauging Wes' reaction.

Wes doesn't react. He simply nods. "The more I resist, the worse I feel."

"Wesley. Talk to me. I know I haven't really been a friend lately," Angel begins.

"Don't apologize, Angel. For once, this has nothing to do with you," Wes sighs.

"But it does. I should have seen what was happening to you. I just assumed that…"

"That I would come to you if something was wrong. I'm sorry," Wes replies. "Something…when I'm around you, or Fred…something happens to me…it almost…hurts," Wes confesses, covering his face. He is trembling uncontrollably.

"It's probably one of the spells," Angel says, unsure.

"I'm exhausted, Angel. I feel like everything is spinning out of control. I don't think it's the spells. It's something else," Wes confesses.

"What?" 

"I'm finally losing it. My mind. I think I'm going insane…"

"No, Wes. It's the magic and the drinking, you're not going insane," Angel denies.

"I don't know…the drinking…god…I don't know anything anymore…I just need to rest…" Wes murmurs, his eyelids drooping.

"I'm going to stay with you, is that okay? I'll make you something to eat, I promise it'll make you feel better. Wes? We'll fix this," Angel promises.

"Whatever you think is best. I'm too tired to argue," Wes sighs, lying down and covering his head with the pillow. 

Angel closes the door to the bedroom, leaving it open just a crack. He calls Fred and Lorne, telling them about the situation. He can't talk them out of coming over. He doesn't call Gunn. He isn't sure about Gunn anymore. The man that appears sporadically around Wolfram and Hart is only a shadow of the friend that Angel knew and loved. Gunn isn't there anymore. And now, he's losing Wesley, too.

Angel goes into the kitchen and finds that there is no food or evidence of food anywhere in the kitchen. Because of the sunlight, he can't go out for groceries. He tries Fred's cell phone but she doesn't answer. He tries Faith.

"Hello?" A man answers.

"Yes. I'm looking for Faith."

"Who is this?"

"Angel."

"Hold on." 

"Faith here. What's up, Angel?" 

"Tell Robin I said hello. I'm not going to be able to come by today, Faith. Wes is in a pretty bad way. I don't think he's eaten in…a few days."

"I knew he looked like shit, but I didn't think it was…damn, Angel. Are you sure?"

"There's no food in his house, Faith. I mean, nothing. Nothing except empty bottles of scotch. He's shaking like a leaf and he…he says that he's losing his mind. Wes…he never talks that way," Angel says.

"What do you need me to do?"

"Can you do a little grocery shopping and bring it by Wes'? He needs to eat and I can't go shopping right now. Will Robin be okay by himself?" Angel asks.

"Wes' doctor just left. I'll bring Robin with me. He hasn't been out in a while. It'll do him good," Faith replies.

"Are you good for money?" Angel asks, as an afterthought.

"Wes left a Wolfram and Hart charge card with Robin today," Faith replies.

"Smart Wes. That's fine. We'll see you guys when you get here," Angel replies, opening the door for Fred and Lorne who have rushed over. Lorne is carrying a tall stack of books containing the spells Lilah mentioned. 

"Where is he?" Fred's worry lines her face. 

"He's resting in the bedroom," Angel says. Lorne deposits the books on the coffeetable and follows Fred into the bedroom. Angel doesn't stop them, knowing that Fred's chatter will probably rouse Wes regardless.

"Wes?" Fred calls, stepping inside.

"Hello, Fred. Lorne." Wes sits up immediately.

Fred goes to Wes and embraces him. "I'm so sorry, Wes. It's like we abandoned you all over again…"

"It's not your fault, Fred. I think everyone's been caught up in their new job lately," Wes replies.

"You've got to learn how to open up, Wesley, your aura is screaming at me. Will you sing for me? Let me see what little Lilah's done to you?" Lorne asks, smiling to reassure him.

Wes sighs. Fred doesn't leave his side, she settles in beside him with an arm around his trembling shoulders. "I don't think there's much left to be done…"

"Let's try, though, okay Wes? We always have to try," Fred replies.

Wes closes his eyes and sings a few lines of an old lullaby that Fred doesn't recognize. Lorne's face flashes emotion suddenly before the demon recovers his composure as Wes' song comes to an end.

"She did a number on you, all right. Why don't you get some rest, I can tell you're about to collapse…" Lorne says, upbeat.

Wes smiles at Lorne. "I know that it wasn't pleasant, Lorne, I'm sorry." 

Lorne opens his mouth to protest, but Wes has already lain back down on the bed. Fred gives Lorne a scolding glance. 

"Fred. I'll be okay. Go with Lorne. I'm sure you'll want to hear what Lorne has to say. I'll call you if I need you," Wes mutters. Fred places the pillow over Wes' head like he had it when they entered.

"Get some sleep, Wes," Fred says, closing the door as she goes out into his apartment.

"I need a drink, stat," Lorne says to Angel.

"You read him?" Angel asks.

"Loud and unclear. It's not good. She's got him layered in so many spells and potions that it's actually affecting his health," Lorne replies, pouring himself a glass of Wes' scotch.

"Lorne?" Fred calls, concerned.

Lorne finishes his glass and sits down on the couch. "Poor kid. Lilah didn't tell you everything, Angel. She's really fucked him up. I don't think there's anything we can do…"


	5. 5

*****

****

"…somebody saw him jump

but nobody saw him slip

I guess he lost a lot of hope

and then he lost his grip…"

Faith holds tight to the numerous bags of groceries she carries as Robin knocks on Wes' door. Angel opens it and seeing Faith, visibly relaxes. Robin, using a cane now instead of crutches, limps into the apartment.

"Whoa," Robin says, spotting Lorne sitting in one of the chairs in the living room.

"Nah, he's cool. He's one of the good guys. That's still true, right?" Faith says, looking to Angel. 

"Yeah. This must be Robin,' Angel reaches out his hand and shakes Robin's. "Robin, this is Lorne, he's an empath demon. Over there in the books, that's Fred. I'm Angel."

"Not Angelus?" Robin asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Robin's mom was a slayer. He knows all the watcher lore, he was raised by her watcher," Faith says, quickly, putting down the groceries and taking Robin's arm.

"Spike killed your mother," Angel realizes. 

"That's not a good subject, Angel," Faith says, before Robin can respond.

"Sorry. Welcome to L.A., Robin. You'll be a great asset to the team," Angel says, nodding. "I'll take these into the kitchen and start on dinner."

"So is Wes okay with the party that's going on in his living room?" Faith asks, sitting down beside Robin on the couch.

"He's kind of unconscious back there. I think since we're all here to help that he won't mind," Fred replies, not looking up from her book.

"You wouldn't happen to read Sanskrit, would you, Faith?" Lorne asks.

"Sorry."

"I can. What do you have?" Robin asks.

"No way. You can read this?" Fred asks, surprised. She passes the book to Robin.

"I learned a lot of languages from my foster family. Comes in handy in our line of work," Robin replies, studying the book.

"Wes is our ancient prophecy/translation guy. It just doesn't seem right that we make him translate the spells that Lilah used…" Fred sighs.

Robin lowers the book. "This is pretty extreme. I think we need some help. Willow's the only person that I know of that could fix this. The way I read this one, when Lilah goes, Wes goes with her."

"Faith. Call Willow. I'm going to get Lilah…" Angel says, turning to leave.

"Wait, Lilah? You're bringing her here?" Lorne objects.

"The closer to Wes, the better he is. I want her to be here if we need her," Angel says, leaving.

Faith glances at the others. "Fred, make sure Angel didn't leave anything burning in the kitchen," She says, opening up her newly purchased cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ken. Is Willow around?" Faith asks, recognizing Willow's girlfriend's voice.

"Hang on. This Faith?"

"Yeah. How's New Orleans?"

"Boring compared to Sunnydale. LA?"

"Not so boring. We need your witch," Faith replies.

"Here she is. Take care, Faith," Kennedy says.

"Faith? What's up?" Willow asks.

"We've got a problem out here. Wesley's in some trouble," Faith says.

"What kind of trouble?"

"This lady…it's a long story, but somebody's put a spell on him. Plural spells. It's killing him," Faith says.

"What kind of spells?" Willow asks, alert now.

"Here's Fred, she knows more about the details," Faith says, handing the phone to Fred. "Tell her what kind of spells."

Lorne and Robin go into the kitchen to attend to the food that Angel and Fred have abandoned.

After a few minutes, Fred hangs up the phone. 

"Well? What did she say?" Faith asks.

"That she'll be here in a minute." Fred shrugs.

"A minute? She's in Louisiana…" Faith replies, but she blinks and finds Willow standing beside her.

"I love that!" Willow smiles. 

"What the fuck…" Faith gasps.

"Teleportation. A new trick I learned. Cool, isn't it?" Willow laughs. "Now, where's Wesley? I need to see him."

"Lilah…"

"Evil lawyer, Lilah? That's who did this?" Willow gasps. "I thought she was dead…"

"She is. She had a contract with Wolfram and Hart that extended beyond death. She's only got a few days before she has to go back to hell. Obsessed little bitch wanted to make Wes love her…" Fred explains, leading her and Faith toward the bedroom.

"Poor Wes…" Willow says, stepping into the room. She gasps. "She…what did she do to him?" 

"I take that as a bad sign," Faith says, looking at Fred.

"I need to talk to him. Can you give us a minute?" Willow asks, quietly, sitting down on the bed beside Wes' immobile form.

"Sure. Angel's bringing Lilah here in case we need her. We'll be right outside," Fred says, pulling a reluctant Faith from the room. 

"Wesley?" Willow calls, reaching out for the watcher. He sits up at the sound of his name, looking around with glazed eyes.

"Willow? What are you doing here?" Wes asks, putting a hand to his pounding head. 

"They called me. Said you were having some spell problems…" Willow smiles gently. 

"It must be bad if they called you," Wes sighs. 

"Wesley, I want to do something that will help me figure out what Lilah's done to you. It shouldn't hurt…" Willow says.

"Everything hurts, Willow. Just do it," Wes replies. 

Willow hesitates. "Wes, do you even care? Look at me. What's happened to you?" She asks.

"Willow. I appreciate the concern. I really do. I'm just not feeling too good right now…I don't know if it's the spells or my own depression, but…" His blue eyes flash suddenly, startling Willow. "Is Lilah here?"

"Wes, calm down…" Willow says, trying to stop him from getting up and rushing from the room.

"I can't believe they'd bring her here…" Wes says, stopping his struggle and remaining seated on the bed.

"Let me take a look at you, Wes. Close your eyes." Willow puts her hands on each side of his face and her eyes fill with black. 

Wes sighs, fighting nausea as Angel steps into the room.

"Willow?"

Willow's eyes return to normal. "Okay, Wesley. Angel, could you wait outside?" Angel obeys Willow's stern tone.

"Wesley. Your friends care about you. It makes you sick when they come around because Lilah gave you a potion. They don't hate you. They're trying to help you," Willow says, quietly.

"I know," Wes replies. "But…my mind keeps telling me…"

"Your mind is clouded right now because of the magic. Do you trust me, Wes?" Willow asks.

"I believe you, Willow. I trust your judgement," Wes replies. 

"I need a few things from Lilah and then I'll be back to try and help you, okay?"

"So I should stay here…" Wes says, his eyes glazed slightly.

"I'll be right back, Wes," Willow promises, stepping outside the room.

Wes slides off the bed. He reaches underneath the bed and grabs a half-empty bottle of whiskey. He sighs and holds it in his shaking hands before turning it up and draining the bottle. He feels better, but he knows that it's because Lilah is in the other room. The liquor helps his trembling, but doesn't stop it. He puts his head in his hands.

"Well if it isn't the little witch…" Lilah snarls, leaning back lazily on Wes' couch.

"I could say the same about you with a few consonant adjustments," Willow replies, coldly. "I am glad you're here. You have something I need," Willow says, her face cold. Faith and Angel are startled by Willow's unfazed confidence. Fred, Lorne and Robin watch from the kitchen doorway.

"Really?" Lilah sneers.

Willow reaches out and grabs Lilah's arm, the nail on her index finger grows and she slices Lilah's wrist, spilling blood. Lilah screams but can't free her hand from Willow's grasp.

"Willow!" Angel says, starting for the two women, but Faith stops her. 

Willow begins to chant as she coats her hands in Lilah's blood. Lilah is finally released, cradling her damaged wrist against her as Willow returns to the bedroom.

Willow kneels beside Wes' and whispers to him soothingly. He nods. She takes Wes' face in her bloody hands and chants a language that no one recognizes. Angel watches from the doorway.

Wes and Willow start to levitate from their kneeling positions on the floor. There is a flash of light and Lilah cries out from the other room. Angel blinks.

"Something's wrong," Willow gasps, kneeling beside Wes' unconscious body.

"Lilah's out cold!" Fred yells.

"What happened?" Angel asks, helping Willow put Wesley on the bed.

Wes' nose has started to bleed. After a few moments, blood starts to run from his mouth, too. The only sign of life is the slow beat of his heart.

"What did you do?" Angel asks.

"I unbound their souls, I dissolved the binding that Lilah had put on him and…I don't know what's going on…" Willow says, panicking.

Faith enters the room, hearing the raised tone of Willow's voice. "What's up?"

"We don't know. Something went wrong…" Willow says, stuttering.

"Calm down, Red, calm down. We need you conscious and not hyperventilating. Come on, Will," Faith pulls Willow away from Wes and into the living room. "Take a deep breath and…"

"I killed them…I killed Wes…I was trying to save him…" Willow gasps. Faith slaps her across the face. Willow takes a deep breath. "Thanks. I needed that."

"Robin. Fred. Help Willow find out what's funky here. Wes has books…" Faith's grasp on the situation slips as Angel yells from the bedroom.

"We need to get Wes to a hospital!" 


	6. 6

AN: Thanks for all the reviews!! I'm trying to get this typed in as fast as I can but stuff keeps changing! Expect some losses and some gains, but no deaths, at least not yet. And for those of you expecting an appearance by Lindsey, I just plead for you to be patient, I am working toward something, it's just taking a little longer than I expected. I have to tie some things up and then I'll get back to the little snippet from the first chapter. Thanks to all for reading!!

****

"…but this is all that I have, so please

take what's left of this heart and use

please use only what you really need

you know I only have so little so please

mend your broken heart and leave…"

"Found it!" Willow yells, surprising everyone. Fred drops her books, Angel drops his cup and Faith falls out of the chair where she was dozing.

"Found what?" Angel asks, as they gather around the witch. 

Robin is keeping watch over Wes at the hospital. He had stopped breathing in the bedroom earlier and that's when Angel took him to the hospital. Lilah's unconscious form is stretched out on the couch in Wes' living room.

"One of the spells that Lilah used had a failsafe…if the bond is broken by anything other than death, the two souls…" Willow's voice trails off.

"What? Willow, what?" Fred urges. 

"He's trapped with her…"Angel realizes, reading over Willow's shoulder. 

"So it's like that freaky dreamwalk you and I had off the Orpheus when you were all evil?" Faith asks, confused. 

"Sort of. Yeah, it's like that," Angel replies, quietly.

"So how do we get Wes back?" Fred asks.

Willow stands up and goes to Lilah's side. She glances at the spellbook and then closes her eyes, speaking a few words. Lilah gasps deeply and then lapses back into unconsciousness. A few moments later, Faith's phone begins to ring.

"Yeah? Hey, Robin. He's back? He okay? Good. We'll be by to get you guys as soon as Wes' doctor okays his release. Love you, too." Faith smiles widely. "Wes is back. Clearer from what Robin says, looking a lot better."

"Willow, thank you so much," Fred sighs, relieved.

"I'm just glad I could help. You guys should know that Wes isn't out of the woods yet. He was exposed to some very intense magicks. I don't think he'll ever be the same," Willow admits. 

"What do you mean?" Angel questions.

"He's probably going to have some lapses in judgement, in his sanity…I mean, just talking to him today, I could tell that he was struggling to hold it together. I couldn't undo the damage already done…I mean, it's permanent damage," Willow explains.

"If she wasn't already dead…" Angel mutters, glancing at Lilah. 

"I feel kind of…sorry for her…all she wanted was Wes to love her…" Fred says, distantly.

"That wasn't love, though. It was magic. It wasn't real. What's real is how she hurt Wesley. I'm sure he'll be fine, though," Willow sighs. "He's a strong man. A good man. There aren't many of those around."

"I'm going to get Lilah out of here. You guys go check on Wes," Angel says. 

*****

Wes recovers rapidly and in a week is patrolling regularly with Faith. Wes' doctor continues to visit Robin, running various tests to try and find out why it is taking so long for his wounds to heal from his battle with the First Evil. 

Faith and Wes become good friends, for the first time ever. He adjusts to her fighting style and they become an admirable team, mirroring each other and having an uncanny knack for knowing where the other is in the fight. Angel and the others are very surprised at the rapport between the former enemies. Faith talks to Wes about everything, and he starts to rely on her to snap him out of the 'lapses' that he suffers sometimes when he loses touch with reality. 

Faith comes home to Robin after a late night of patrolling with Wes. She is tired, the vamps being extra 'frisky' tonight.

"Faith."

The bedroom is dark when she steps inside. Usually, he waits up for her.

"Robin? What's wrong?" Faith asks, concerned.

"I talked to Dr. Harrison today."

"Yeah?" Faith smiles, expecting good news.

"Faith. It wasn't good."  
Faith sits down on the bed, tossing her leather jacket into the corner. "What did he say?" 

"Something's wrong with my spinal cord. Well, it's actually dealing with the vertebrae in my back," Robin says, finally, after a long pause. Faith listens, squeezing his hand until he pulls away. "I can get better but…I…I can't fight…I can't do anything strenuous or I'll risk paralyzation…" He won't meet her eyes. 

"Robin, it's cool…" Faith begins.

"No. It's not cool, Faith. I can't fight with you. I can't watch your back. I can't do anything. I'm useless…"

"You're not useless, Robin," Faith hesitates. "I need you."

"No, you don't," Robin says, shaking his head, slowly.

"Yes, I do. I need you. I need you to come home to, I need you to keep me on the side of the good, I need you…" Faith rushes.

"I'm leaving, Faith."

His words hang in the air. Faith doesn't make a sound as the tears come. 

"I talked to Giles. I'm going to Miami. We're going to start rebuilding the Council. Create a network. Xander's already on a flight here…"

Faith can't speak. She can't breathe. 

"Faith. Say something."

"What?"

"Anything."

"I can't…you're leaving me…what…" She shakes her head, burying her face in her hands.

"I can't help you, Faith. I love you and I'm sorry but I can't sit here and be with you and not be able to fight by your side…"

"Why?"

"I can't watch you die. I'm a coward, whatever…I have to go…I'm sorry," Robin says. Faith ignores the sobs in his voice.

"Me, too." Faith cry escapes her. "Bastard!" She says, standing up and spinning around to face him. "I loved you! I've never let myself love anyone before! I trusted you! I believed you and…" She sinks to her knees. 

"Do you regret it? Faith, baby, I love you, I love everything about you…" Robin starts, climbing out of bed.

"Don't. Please. Just leave it. You made your decision." Faith forces herself to her feet. 

"Faith, don't go, let's talk about…" Robin protests, but Faith is already out the door.

*****

Faith is stunned. She leaves the house in a daze. Pain. She is in pain. She can't breathe. He's leaving her. He doesn't want her anymore. He's…leaving.

She realizes that people are speaking to her but she can't see. She just walks. When the door opens, his voice breaks through for a moment.

"Faith?" Wes calls.

He sees her face and takes her arm, pulling her inside his apartment. 

"Faith? Are you alright? What happened? Faith!" Wes demands, worry draining all color from his face. 

"He's…he's leaving…" She breathes, falling to her knees. She barely registers Wes' voice. Robin is gone. He's moving to Miami because she doesn't make him happy enough to stay. Something's wrong with her. She's broken. She forgot about it for a while, let herself be happy in this new life, but it all comes back to the fact that something is wrong with her. 

She closes her eyes. She doesn't want to feel it. She is strong. Unbeatable. Unbreakable. She doesn't need to feel it. The loss is like a demon. She can beat it. 

"Faith!" 

Wes is holding her struggling arms, clearly straining. Blood is trickling from a long gash in his face over his swelling eye. The concern in his eyes snaps her out of her building rage.

"Wes?" She realizes that she is standing up now.

"Faith. Can you sit down? You're safe here…" Wes lowers her to the couch, his voice soothing her. "You need to breathe…Faith? Look at me…" Wes cups her chin, sitting down beside her. "Take a deep breath."

She obeys automatically, allowing his British voice to calm her. 

"Another one?"

She releases a sob, but exhales.

"Drink this…Faith…" Wes puts a warm cup of something sweet in her hands. She can't taste. She doesn't know where the cry that escapes her throat comes from. She is weak. Robin has her strength. He is her strength. She is dying.

Wes pulls Faith to him and she lets herself cry. She clings to him, leaking her pain into his arms. Finally, she runs out of tears and is asleep. He carries into his room and covers her in his bed. He leaves the door cracked and sits down on the couch, unable to sleep.

*****

"Wake up, Faith. Faith. Wake up, baby…"

Faith opens her eyes. Robin is standing over her. "I didn't think I was your baby anymore," She whispers.

"We don't need to leave it this way…I don't want to hurt you," Robin says, reaching for her.

"Fuck you." She recognizes Wes' bedroom as she scrambles out of the bed and his reach. She stands up. "How'd you get in here?"

"Fred let me in," Robin replies.

"Robin, I need you to leave. You said you were leaving…" Faith can't catch her breath.

From outside the room, Wes' voice is heard. "Fred, who's in there?"

Faith's vision goes dark as she starts to hyperventilate. She barely registers Wes' voice. "What did you do to her?"

Faith recognizes Wes' hands on her shoulders, holding her upright. She grips his upper arms with her hands, holding onto him.

"Robin. Go. Wait outside. Now." Wes' voice is stern. 

"But…"

"Get out before I have to make you leave," Wes says. 

"I have to talk to her before I leave…" Robin protests.

Faith pleads with Wes with dazed eyes. "Please…make him go…please…"

Robin leaves as Faith struggles to catch her breath. She is suffocating. Robin is her air. She can't breathe. She hurts.

"Faith. Breathe. Look at me. I need you to breathe. Calm down. Okay?" Faith tries to focus on Wes' voice to fight the thickening darkness. "Breathe in. Breathe out. Come on, Faith…"

She looks around. She is sitting on the floor of Wes' bedroom. He is gently holding her shoulders and her knuckles are white from where she is gripping his upper arms. 

"Sorry," She gasps, releasing him. She realizes that her slayer strength has probably hurt him.

"Faith."

"I'm okay…he's gone…" Faith says, wrapping her arms around herself.

"What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?" Wes demands.

Faith sees a flash in Wes' eyes and realizes that he wants to protect her. He's pulsing with controlled rage at Robin for hurting her.

"Faith, what…"

"Don't do anything, Wes. He didn't hurt me. Well, he hurt me…he's leaving me," Faith says, more oriented.

"Why?" Wes asks, concerned.

"He says…I…" Faith starts, but she collapses into tears. He embraces her and she accepts his comfort, releasing her pain for the second time in the last 24 hours.

She won't let him leave her. Every time he tries to sneak away, she wakes up and begs him to stay. Wes doesn't argue, he just holds her. 

Finally, Faith hears Angel speak. 

"Wesley. We need you. It's an emergency." Something in Angel's tone chills her. She doesn't fight when Wes disentangles himself from her grasp.

"What is it?" Wes asks, in the living room.

Faith sits up, following the men into the living room silently.

"There's a nest of vamps down at the docks. It's big. Over a hundred by our count. They're planning something and with Faith out of action we really need…" Angel's voice falters as he sees her standing behind Wes. "Faith."

"A hundred vamps and no slayer? You sure are cocky," Faith remarks, her voice hoarse from crying. 

"We can handle it." Angel glances at Wes and then walks over to Faith. "You can do better than him. You're too good for him."

"But he was good enough for me," Faith replies, letting him hug her.

"So there's vamps," Faith says, once Angel steps away.

"You're not going," Wes says, quietly.

"Like hell. Why not?" Faith retorts, stepping toward Wesley. 

"Because I'm asking you not to," Wes replies, not moving.

"Why?" Faith asks, not arguing. Angel watches the exchange.

"I need you to wait here for Xander," Wes replies.

Faith walks over to Wes and brings her arm back to hit him, but he grabs her fist, stopping her. She didn't have her full strength behind it because she wouldn't be able to stop him. 

"Faith. Wait here for Xander. Angel and I will be back in a few hours. Okay?" Wes' voice is quiet.

Faith feels his hand relax and he releases her fist. She lowers her arm. She looks in his eyes. "Okay, Wes. Are you sure?"

Wes looks at her, seriously. "We need you, Faith. But can you honestly tell me that you'd put 100% into this fight?"

She doesn't answer.

"Faith. Xander will be here soon. We'll be back," Wes says, as she pulls her to him.

"Okay. Don't take too long."

"You're okay?" Angel asks, swiveling Faith to face him. 

"I'll be okay. I'm not right now, but I'll be okay. Be careful," Faith replies, as Angel and Wes leave. She curls up on the couch, rocking herself.

She doesn't know how much time has passed when she hears the knock on the door.

Faith swings open the door. "Yeah? Hey, Xander."

"Faith."

She holds the door open and he steps inside. "I hear your boyfriend's an asshole," Xander states.

"Yeah," Faith replies, trying to ignore his eyepatch and gaunt complexion. 

"Well. Speaking as a former asshole, I'm sorry," Xander says, quietly.

Faith smiles. She hugs Xander, impulsively. 

"How are you?" Faith asks.

"How are you?" Xander responds.

"I'd have to say shitty," Faith says.

"I'd agree with that. I'm pretty shitty, too," Xander nods. "Where's your crew?"

"Nest of vampires. Wes didn't think I was up to it," Faith answers, sitting down. Xander sits down beside her. 

"Are you?" Xander asks, concerned.

"No. I loved him, Xander. I really did. He left me. He had reasons, but none of them were good enough for him to leave me," Faith says, slowly. 

Xander kisses her forehead. "He's obviously ignorant. Do you want me to kill him?"

"Let me think about it," Faith answers, smiling.

Xander nods. "Okay."

After a long silence, Faith stretches. "Where are you staying?"

"Wes said he'd work something out for me," Xander replies.

Faith sees something in Xander's eyes. Dullness, like he's not really there. She gasps. "Anya…God, I'm sorry…"

"What?" Xander asks, confusion on his face.

"You loved her and she died, I'm so sorry…" Faith says, hugging him.

"It's okay, Faith," Xander replies, letting her hug him. "See?" He smiles for her, but it's a faded version of the one she's used to seeing on his face. "I'm tan and stable, I'm chipper and enthusiastic…I'm okay. Faith?" He takes her hands. "I'm okay. We'll be okay."

For the next few hours, Faith actually relaxes. She listens to Xander's animated details of Buffy's gang and the new slayers.

An hour before dawn, the door swings open. Angel and Fred, looking beaten, stagger inside supporting Wes' unconscious body. 

"What happened?" Faith asks, as she and Xander get up so Angel and Fred can drop Wes on the couch. The three warriors end up sitting down side by side on the vacated couch, Wesley propped up between them.

"We just killed a whole lot of vampires. We kicked ass," Fred says, her eyelids drooping.

"Not by ourselves, we had backup from Gunn's old crew…but we did kick ass," Angel sighs. 

"Hi. I'm Fred," Fred nods, to Xander, before lapsing into unconsciousness.

"We took a few hits. Wes passed out on the ride back," Angel says. "Hey, Xander."

"Angel," Xander nods.

"No 'deadboy'?" Angel asks, smiling. "I guess you really have grown up…" Angel is asleep.

"How cute," Xander grins, seeing them all asleep leaning on each other. Faith covers them with a blanket. 

"You tired?" Faith asks Xander.

"I could sleep," Xander shrugs.

"We'll share Wes' bed. No sex, though. I'm too tired," Faith jokes, leading him into Wes' bedroom.

"Thank god for small favors," Xander laughs, teasingly. 

"Shut up!" Faith laughs.


	7. 7

AN: Thanx again for the reviews. Hope you enjoy this chapter, hope it explains a few things. I had to branch out my soundtrack to include the original inspiration "On and On" by Jack Johnson as well as the new Third Eye Blind Album "Out of the Vein". I can i.d. the lyrics to songs if anyone wants them. Thanx to the reviewers, I found out I made up a new word in the last chapter: PARALYZATION. Sounded real good to me when I wrote it though, so I hope you guys can overlook it. What's writing without invention and creation of new ideas?

"…But a short time's just a long time then your mind just won't let it go…"

--jack johnson

"…Believe in me and this lie   
Tell me everything will be all right   
Cause it's so good to believe   
But don't turn my hope into a weapon…"

--third eye blind

  


"Wes, hey, wait up," Xander calls, several days after his arrival in L.A. He has moved into the house on Sunset with her and because of Wes' questionable sanity, Wes stays there as well. The house has six bedrooms and four bathrooms so Fred and Angel have guestrooms that they stay in frequently after patrol. Wes has started training with Xander, Fred, and some of the people from Gunn's old gang. 

Xander catches up with Wes at the top of the stairs leading from the basement training room.

Faith, Xander and Wes get along unbelievably well. Faith and Xander have a rapport like siblings, close and open. She is determined to help him deal with the loss of Anya and he, in return, is helping her deal with Robin's desertion. Wesley is becoming close with both of them, he can complete Faith's sentences and they work together like they fight, fluidly as one unit. Wes and Xander's relationship is developing into a great friendship. Xander hasn't had a 'real' male friend since Jesse, the first vampire he ever staked.

"Everything okay, Xander?" Wes asks, his eyes slightly glazed as he turns to face Xander.

"Yeah…" Xander hesitates, seeing a hint of madness in Wes' eyes that usually comes before he loses touch with reality.

"You're really coming along, Xander. I thought it'd take you a lot longer to compensate for your eyesight, but you're holding your own with the boys down there," Wes says.

"Yeah, I just wanted to say thanks again. 7 years in Sunnydale and no one decided to teach me to fight…" Xander says, quietly.

"You're part of our team now," Wes replies. "We need all the help we can get…" His gaze drifts past Xander.

"Wes? You okay? You're looking a little shaky right now…" Xander says, steadying the swaying man.

"I need a drink…" Wes says, starting past the younger man.

"It's too early, Wes, remember?" Xander says, following him into the large sitting room. Fred and Faith are sitting on the couch drinking Gatorade after their workout. Xander and Faith know that Wes is still drinking a lot so they've been trying to convince him to stop.

"Never too early…Always too late…" Wes mutters, pouring himself a large glass of scotch from the decanter in the room. 

Faith glances at Fred and both ladies stand up and approach Wesley.

"Where are you today, Wes?" Faith asks, quietly, trying to gauge Wes' mood.

"What? Faith, what the hell are you doing here?" Wes asks, his eyes clouded with confusion. 

"I live here. Remember? Snap out of it, Wes. Come on, you were having such a good day!" Faith urges, hating to see the blank look in her friend's eyes.

"What?" Wes asks, still out of it. He forgets who he's talking to and turns away, drinking the whiskey down in a gulp. 

"Xander, didn't he zone out earlier today? He doesn't usually do this twice in one day…" Fred asks, watching Wesley pour himself another drink.

"Yeah, he thought he was in Pylea or something…" Xander replies. 

"Wesley. Look at me…" Faith goes to stand in front of Wesley, but his gaze looks through her. 

"I'm very sorry that I couldn't make your funeral," Wes says, quietly, reaching out to touch Faith's face. Faith blanches.

"I was just out of the hospital when I heard," Wes continues. "I know I should have come to you…say my goodbyes but I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to England…I'm sorry…" Wes continues, sadly. 

"Wesley…" Fred says, seeing Faith's stricken expression. Xander pulls Faith from Wes' line of sight. 

"I never was a good brother to you…now I've lost my chance…" Wes mutters, wandering from the room.

"Wes has a sister?" Fred asks, surprised. 

"Sounded like he 'had' a sister. Past tense," Faith whispers, still affected by Wes' mistaken identity. 

Something shatters in the other room and the three rush after Wesley.

Wesley is standing at the foot of the stairs in the hallway, his eyes are clear and locked on his bloody hands. The glass he was carrying is lying in shards on the floor.

"I guess I spaced out again?" Wes asks, looking to his friends. "I'll just go get cleaned up," He says, walking toward the bathroom. Fred leaves for a moment to go get a dustpan to sweep up the glass. 

"You think he's getting worse?" Faith asks them, quietly.

"I'll call Willow. See what she thinks. Maybe someone should go talk to him," Xander suggests.

"I guess…I'll go," Faith sighs, seeing Fred's worried expression.

"It'd probably be better. I'd get all flustered and you seem to be better at dealing with him when he puts on his 'brick wall Wes' face," Fred agrees. 

Faith follows the blood trail toward the open bathroom door. Wes is pulling a shard of glass out of the palm of his hand, unflinching.

"Wes?"

"I'm here, Faith," Wes replies, his voice tired. He glances at her and sees the disturbed look on her face. "Did I say something to you? You look upset."

"You thought I was someone else. Do you have a sister?" Faith asks, quickly, never taking her eyes off his face. 

Wes flinches for an instant but his face remains placid.

"You were talking to her. She's dead?" Faith asks.

"Yes. I'm sorry about that," Wes says, slowly. He returns his attention to the water where he is washing the blood from his hands.

"You need stitches," Faith notices, stepping into the bathroom.

"Bloody hospitals. I'll get one of the Wolfram and Hart techs to sew it up for me…" Wes replies, calmly.

"What's your problem, Wes?" Faith snaps, suddenly. "Ten minutes ago you were on top of everything, you were teaching those kids like a pro and then you bug the hell out, start talking to your dead sister and now you're acting like everything is fine! What's your fucking issue?"

Wes doesn't reply, he examines her with cool blue eyes. 

"Well?" Faith demands, her anger growing at Wes' unresponsiveness.

Wes opens his mouth to speak, but closes it again, turning away. 

"Wes," Faith calls, quieter.

"I'll have to think about that, Faith. I don't really have anything to say right now," He replies coolly. 

"Goddammit, Wes!" She shoves him against the wall. 

"As refreshing as physical violence may be for you, Faith, it isn't going to make me talk to you," Wes replies, his voice serious. Faith lets go, stepping back.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," Wes says, his face blank. He walks past her, his hands still dripping blood, and out of the house. 

"Wes, wait…" Faith bolts after him and grabs his shoulder, spinning him around to face her. 

"Faith. Take your fucking hands off me," He says, his voice low. She stands close to him, but removes her hand from his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you…" Faith apologizes.

"Then stop. If it upsets you this much, just stop," Wes shrugs, walking away from her again.

"No. Talk to me, Wes, I thought we were friends…" Faith says, following him to the street where his SUV is parked.

"We are. Or we were trying to be," Wes responds.

"So talk to me, Wes, what…"

Wes surprises Faith by balling up his bleeding fist and slamming it into the side of his truck, denting it, slightly. "Dammit, Faith, what do you want me to say? What's my issue? I'm losing my bloody mind that's my issue. I can't really describe what it's like to you, Faith, and I'm tired of worrying about it. Surprise, Faith, I don't have it all together, I've never had it all together and there's only so much that I can fucking handle. I'm sorry you're upset, I'm sorry that I have issues but I'm doing my motherfucking best to hold what I can together…" Wes snaps. In an instant, his face is blank again, his eyes cold. He unlocks the door to his SUV with his swelling hand and steps inside. "I'll be home later."

"Where are you going, Wes?" Faith asks before he slams the door.

"Out. I'll be back in time for patrol." He drives away. 

Xander and Fred join Faith on the street.

"They say 'motherfucking' in England?" Fred asks, her face pale.

"You guys heard all that?" Faith whispers.

"Yeah. You were kind of…yelling at him in the bathroom…and then he said 'motherfucking' and…Fred's got a good question there. I'll have to ask Giles if he knows that word," Xander replies.

The three friends are silent. 

"I think Wes had the right idea earlier. Let's get drunk. We don't have any apocalypses on the schedule, do we Fred?" Faith sighs. "Let's take the night off."

*****

Xander is entertaining Fred with tales of his Sunnydale dating career. Faith is stacking up the many empty beer cans from the two cases they have been working on all afternoon. Everyone is quite drunk. 

"What the hell did I miss?" Angel's voice startles all three people. Faith's pyramid collapses.

"Damn, Angel, I worked really hard on that," Faith slurs.

"You're drunk…you're all drunk. Where's Wes?" Angel demands, surprised.

"I don't know, but he's probably drunk, too. You want a beer?" Fred offers.

"No thanks. Did something happen?"

"Wes went out. He's pissed off because Faith snapped on him. We're taking the night off," Xander explains, finishing the beer in his hand.

"We should go out. Take some shots," Fred suggests.

"No. You guys need to sober up and explain…" Angel protests.

"Xander just explained," Faith replies. "Come on, we deserve a night of drunken mayhem, don't we?"

"You don't know where Wes is?" Angel asks, seeing that the three people are too drunk to do anything else except continue drinking or passing out.

"Out. He said he'd be back before it was time for patrol," Faith replies.

"It's eleven, you guys. He's late. I'm going to look for him," Angel sighs, turning away. 

"Wes is fine, he can take care of himself. You should just leave him be…" Faith calls, but Angel is already gone.

"Deadboy never knew how to have a good time," Xander remarks.

"Angel never has been one with the jollies," Fred agrees.

"So, Fred, we've been hanging out all this time and you haven't told us the scoop. Where's your boyfriend? Bald, black and beautiful?" Faith asks, staggering over and sitting in the floor in front of the couch where Xander and Fred are sitting. 

"Gunn…he's still around. We don't see him that often. He's all weird now…" Fred hesitates.

"Weird how? Weird after the breakup?" Xander probes.

"No. We all took these jobs at Wolfram and Hart and he got all weird. His eyes are…"

"Weird?" Faith offers.

"Yeah. He's not the Gunn we used to know. He stays in the white room…that's this room where an evil little girl used to live that you can't reach without the special elevator code…anyway. We don't fully trust him anymore. He's all wise but we don't know where the wisdom came from," Fred explains.

"Weird…" Faith agrees, surprised. 

"Do I smell beer? Gracious, I do! What are you kiddies getting into in here?" Lorne laughs, walking in with a drink in his hand.

"Lorne!" Fred, Faith and Xander yell in unison. "You here to drink with us?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" Lorne grins, settling in quickly with the drunken friends.

*****

Angel is surprised to find Wesley's SUV parked outside Wolfram and Hart. He inquires at the desk and the receptionist says that Wes is in a meeting. In the white room. Angel is immediately concerned. No one has spoken with Gunn for weeks now.

Angel manages to remember the code and reaches the white room. When he materializes in the room, no one is there.

"Gunn? Are you here?"

"Angel. Surprise," Gunn remarks, materializing in a leather armchair.

"Where's Wes?"

Gunn shakes his head. "I thought you were taking better care of your friends, Angel."

"Gunn. Is he here?" Angel asks, uncomfortable and increasingly concerned. Gunn nods and Angel sees Wesley sitting down a few feet away, a pensive look on his face.

"He can't hear you unless I want him to," Gunn says, slowly, standing up and walking over to Angel. 

"What are you doing to him?" Angel demands.

"Nothing. It's quiet here. He doesn't have all that damage floating around in his head in here. He comes here to chill out. He's the only friend I have left," Gunn says, placidly.

"Gunn has friends. You're not Gunn," Angel replies.

"Did you ever wonder where he is, though? Is he okay? Is he alive? What happened to him, Angel?" Gunn asks, his eyes dead as he speaks. "Wes, he's a good man. He tries to hide it under all that angst, but he actually cares for people. He remembers everything, Angel and he keeps going. He comes to see me every day, after Cordelia, of course. We didn't get along for so long, but he still worries about what's happened to me."

"What has happened to you, Gunn?" Angel asks, guilt for abandoning his friend assaulting him.

"It's not your fault. I made a choice," Gunn shrugs. He returns his gaze to Wesley. "He's getting worse. He actually believes that he's losing his mind."

"Isn't he?" Angel questions.

"Probably. He's still fighting, though, Angel. Taking care of the boy and the girl, it's helping him. He trusts them more than he's trusted anyone in a long time." Gunn turns to Angel. "He trusts you, too, Angel. He's not going to ask you for help but if you're his friend…he shouldn't have to." Gunn disappears. Angel walks over to Wes. 

"Wes?" Angel reaches out to try and stir the ex-watcher.

Wes flinches when he hears his name. "Angel? What are you doing here?" 

"Looking for you. Let's go home," Angel says, reaching out his hand to help Wes off the floor. Then he smells the blood. Wes doesn't accept his offered hand and pushes himself upright with his damaged hands. 

"I need to get cleaned up. Goodbye, Gunn," Wes calls, and they find themselves in the elevator.

"You had a bad day?" Angel asks, quietly, still pondering Gunn's words.

"Nothing more than usual. Cut my hands on a glass," Wes remarks.

"Will you hit me if I ask if you're okay?" Angel asks, quietly.

"No. I'm fine. How's Faith? I think I was a little hard on her," Wes replies.

"Drunk. Fred, Faith and Xander are drunk," Angel answers.

"Good. They deserve a little down time," Wes nods. He glances at Angel. "Why are you here, Angel?"

"I was worried about you," Angel answers after a beat.

"Really. Why the sudden concern?" Wes asks.

"Because I don't believe you, either. You're wearing the same indifferent mask that I invented. But it's getting to you," Angel says.

"You're right, I'm sure," Wes replies. "But if you are, then you know that I can't just let it go. The façade, or whatever, it serves its purpose well. Now. Are you going to make me go home to that house of drunken youngsters or am I free to go?" They step off the elevator into the nearly deserted lobby of the law firm.

"Where are you going?"

"To my other apartment. Follow me if you want, I just…I don't really feel like facing the others right now," Wes admits. Exhaustion flashes on his face for a moment, but it's gone too fast for Angel to believe it. 

"Okay. I trust you, Wes. Get some sleep," Angel nods.

"I'll try," Wes responds. He turns to leave.

"You visit Gunn every day, Wes?" Angel asks, catching up to the Englishman.

"I try to," Wes answers, quietly.

"And Cordelia," Angel adds.

"Yes," Wes says. 

"And you never said anything…" Angel starts.

"Why would I? I don't want to guilt trip you or the others. I just…" Wes doesn't meet the vampire's eyes. "I know what it's like to feel abandoned. Cordelia…she doesn't deserve that. Gunn doesn't either. No matter what they are now, what they've become…I won't believe we've lost them." He turns, leaving Angel stunned. "I'll see you tomorrow." 

*****

****

Days later:

Wesley blocks three vamps attacking him from all sides while Faith flies through the air with the battleaxe, going for the huge green demon's head.

"Down!" Xander yells and Wes ducks, letting Xander's swords slice off two of the vampires' heads. Wes stakes the last one, both men out of breath.

"Xander, I've got the next wave, go help Faith!" Wes yells, swinging up a crossbow with one hand as four more vampires charge. 

Faith is hacking at the demon with the axe. Xander takes advantage of the distraction and shoves his sword into the back of the demon's head. It falls dead. 

"Sweet, Xander. Nice one," Faith grins.

"Thanks. Shit, Wes…" Xander remembers him suddenly.

Faith and Xander turn and see three piles of dust and a huge vampire holding Wesley against the wall by his throat. Wes is gasping for breath but before Faith and Xander can get to him, Wes' arm comes up and punches the vamp in the face, stunning it into releasing him. Wes starts to attack the vamp viciously, until he is crouched over the vampire's bloody body, pounding his fist into its face. He doesn't stake it, he just keeps hitting it. 

"Wes!" Faith calls, as Angel and Fred rush up, breathless. 

"Wes, man, chill…" Xander attempts. 

Wes continues to pound the vampire. Faith and Angel manage to restrain Wesley long enough for Fred and Xander to mercifully stake the vampire. Finally, Wes stops struggling. 

"Wesley? Are you okay?" Faith asks, quietly, worried about her friend. They were warned that Lilah's spellcasting would have residual effects, such as temporary lapses of 'sanity', but Wes' rage has startled her. She realizes why he is so frightened of his dark side. 

Wes doesn't reply. He is trembling and his blue eyes are blank.

"Wes. Look at me." Faith shakes him, looking into his eyes.

They clear suddenly. "What?"

"Are you back with us?" Angel asks.

"Where else would I be?" Wes shakes off their hands, shuddering. His hands are bloody.

"Okay then. Mission accomplished. Let's go home." Xander breaks the tense silence, putting an arm around Fred and starting from the alley.

"I'm…I'm going to take a walk…" Wes mutters, turning away from Angel and Faith. Angel sighs, but follows Xander and Fred toward the street.

"Wes. Wait up," Faith calls, after a beat, running to catch up. 

"I don't need a babysitter, Faith," Wes says, tiredly.

"I know. But I'm worried. So we take care of each other, right?" Faith asks, knowing that Wes will respond to her argument.

Wes sighs. "Okay."

Faith hears something after they walk several minutes in silence. Wes senses her tension and glances around. 

"Who's back there?" Faith bolts behind a dumpster and Wes reacts instinctively and takes the opposite side. Wes catches the fleeing man by the arm, swinging him around to face him and Faith. 

Faith grabs his free arm. "What are you doing back here, you should be at a shelter or…" She glances down and sees a metal hook where his hand should be. "Whoa."

Wes is staring at the man. His hair is shaggy, curtaining his thickly bearded face. Wes however, is looking at his eyes.

"Hey, bum, what are you looking at?" Faith says, disturbed by the intensity of the men's stare.

"Got rid of the evil hand, I see," Wes says quietly.

"You know this guys?" Faith asks. "Wes?"

"Call Angel. Now," Wes replies.

"I see you guys haven't been doing so well. Ended world peace…" The man says, his voice hoarse. Faith is speaking into her phone.

"I hear you've found your dark side, Mr. Wyndham-Pryce. I was really surprised to hear about you and Lilah…"

Before Faith can react, Wes has the man pinned against the wall with a knife to his throat. 

"Wes. Chill. Angel's on his way," Faith urges, worried.

Wes is shaking but he doesn't loosen his grip. "What else do you have to say?"

"I'm all done, man. Sorry…" 

"What is it?" Angel appears out of the shadows.

"We found this guy…" Faith points.

Angel stops beside Wesley. "Let him down, Wes."

Wes hesitates but releases the man. He takes a step back beside Faith. 

"I thought you left town for good. Why are you back?" Angel asks.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"Your friend. She doesn't have the visions anymore. Coma, right?"

"Get to the point, Lindsey," Angel growls. 

Faith recognizes the ex-lawyer now. Thinner, more scarred and hairier, but still Lindsey McDonald.


	8. 8

AN: Sorry for the lengthiness of this fic, all my stories tend to run long. This story has taken on a life of it's own and I think we'll be seeing a lot of characters we haven't seen in a while. Everyone is going to be making an appearance, if anyone can stay interested that long. Thanx for the reviews!!

*****

****

"…Icarus is not a tee shirt or a swan song, no   
He is born again and it's not easy being me   
But I can't promise I will mend or bend   
When you believe that we are fixed now from our birth   
And I've just fallen back to earth   
Still you know I'll try again   
Cause I believe that we are lucky   
We are golden we're stolen manners   
In the days when we were one…"  
--Third Eye Blind

Lindsey opens his mouth to speak but Angel raises his hand.

"No. I changed my mind. Don't talk. Just keep your mouth shut," Angel says, suddenly, opening his cell phone. "Lorne? I need you to meet me at Wes' house. I need you there, like, ten minutes ago. Thanks, Lorne." He grabs Lindsey by his bad arm and pulls him down the street. 

"Angel…" Lindsey starts.

"Shut up. I don't want to hear you squeak until we get to Wes'.

Wes and Faith glance at each other before following them down the street. Wes' phone starts to ring. 

"Yes?" Wesley answers as Faith stops with him 

Gunn's voice startles him. "Wes. Something's wrong."

"What?" Wes asks, confused.

"This is big shit, English. I gotta come out for this," Gunn adds. Wes recognizes his friend's voice for the first time in months.

"I'll come pick you up."

"Thanks. And Wes. Cordy's awake, too."

Faith doesn't hear Gunn's words but she gasps seeing Wes' pale shocked expression. Angel stops, turning around.

"Gunn?" Wes whispers.

"I'm serious. She's pretty shaken up. She remembers everything, Wes. She was being controlled by Jasmine, but she remembers."

"What is it?" Angel demands, concerned.

Wes waves him off, taking a few steps away from his concerned friends.

"So come get us, English. It's important."

Wes drops his phone and starts walking away.

"Wesley, what is it?" Faith calls after him.

"Faith, go with Angel and Lindsey. Now. I'll meet you in a few minutes." 

Angel and Faith watch him rush away, too stunned to speak.

"It was Gunn. On the phone, I mean. He said something that spooked the hell out of Wes," Faith says, a few feet from the house.

"Wyndham-Pryce knows what's coming, you could see it on his face," Lindsey remarks.

Angel growls, shoving Lindsey into the house.

"Damn, another handicapped in the house?" Xander asks, waiting inside with Lorne and Fred.

"Lindsey McDonald. I cut his hand off a few years ago. Lorne?" Angel is too impatient for explanations.

"You remember the way this goes, Mr. McDonald," Lorne nods, walking up to Lindsey.

"I see nothing's really changed around here," Lindsey frowns. He begins to sing a slow country song. Surprise flashes on Lorne's face. 

"Where's Wesley?" Xander turns to Faith. "He kind of flipped out back there…"

"I know. He got a call from Gunn…" Faith starts as Fred turns to listen.

"Gunn?" Fred asks. Faith nods.

"He took off. Said he'd meet us here," Faith finishes.

"Gunn…" Fred repeats, disbelieving.

Lorne is quiet as Lindsey finishes.

"Lorne? What is it?" Angel asks.

"He's not evil…he's got Cordy's visions." Lorne turns to speak to Lindsey. "You went to a shaman. You asked him to heal you and he cut off your evil hand and gave you the visions. Is that what happened?" 

"Damned shaman. Damned visions." Lindsey glares at Angel. "They really hurt. I heard all about what happened with Jasmine. I was in this little town called Sunnydale, working the visions when they came. The only thing that makes the pain go away is to work the vision. I was saving the innocent or whatever when this big apocalypse crashed the whole damn town. I heard some vampire with a soul sacrificed himself to save the world, so I thought you finally bit the big one. I decided to come to L.A. If I had known you were still alive, I would have stayed the hell away from this place. I don't want anything to do with what's coming," Lindsey sighs. 

*****

Wesley pulls up to the front door of Wolfram and Hart. Gunn and Cordelia are sitting on the bench out front. 

Wes steps out, cautiously, glancing around.

"Look at you. Still paranoid as hell…" Cordelia says, slowly. 

"Considering our circumstances, I think paranoia is called for…" Wes replies, choosing his words carefully.

"Guys," Gunn frowns. 

Cordelia starts to cry. Wes pulls her gently to her feet and embraces her.

"It is good to see you," Wes whispers, kissing her forehead. She cries harder.

"Let's go," Wes says, after waiting a few minutes for Cordelia to stop crying. She doesn't.

"Where to? The hotel?" Gunn asks, climbing inside.

"No, I own a house on Sunset. A few of us stay there. Myself, Faith and Xander…"

"Xander?" Cordelia questions, between sobs.

"Yes. It's our primary base of operations. We still don't entirely trust Wolfram and Hart," Wes replies, his eyes clouded.

"What's on your mind, English?" Gunn asks. Slowly, he shakes his head. "You didn't tell tall dark and broody about us, did you?"

"We had another unexpected reunion earlier. Lindsey McDonald is back in the picture," Wes says, dialing a phone.

"Hello?" Faith answers. 

"Faith. Who's there now?" Wes asks.

"Everyone but you. We have news," Faith says.

"So do I…" Wes replies. 

"Are you okay?" Faith interrupts. 

"I'll get back to you on that," Wes replies. "Let me talk to Angel."

"Okay," Faith sighs, frustrated at Wes' evasion.

"Wes? You look a little shaky," Gunn realizes, seeing the blood on Wes' hands and clothes. 

"Wes? Where are you?" Angel asks. "We need you here…"

"Angel. This is important."

"What, Wes?"

"I'm bringing Gunn and Cordelia over. Five minutes."

There is silence. Finally, Angel's voice returns. "But…Wes…she's awake?"

"Not evil, at least not as far as I've seen so far," He says, glancing at the still sobbing Cordelia.

"She's…"

"Five minutes, Angel."

"Um…" There is a long silence on Angel's end and then Faith's voice breaks in.

"I don't know what you said to him, Wes, but he's crying…" Faith says.

"Cordy's back. I'm bringing her over. How's things there?"

"A little tense…Lorne and Fred are crying now, too, Wes. You better hurry."

"Okay," Wes smiles slightly, hanging up.

"Wesley. This is me talking, not creepy, cryptic guy from W & H…"Gunn begins. "You look like hell." 

"You're too thin and you smell like a liquor store," Cordelia adds from the back seat, choking out her words through tears.

"Yeah, Wes…" Gunn starts.

"Enough. I'm aware of my appearance. I'm also aware of the amount of alcohol I consume. I'm okay," Wes responds. He is genuinely surprised at the concern he recognizes on Gunn's face. Wes parks the SUV behind the car that Xander and Faith share. 

"Big house, Wes," Gunn remarks.

Wes helps Cordelia out of the car. He holds her by the shoulders. "Cordelia. You're going to have to tell us the story. If you didn't do anything wrong then you have nothing to fear. But. It works the other way, too. The games are done now. We're not playing anymore. Okay?" Before she can respond, Wesley takes her arm and gently leads her toward the house.

"Damn, Wes, that's a little cold," Gunn mutters, following them. 

"Don't make me talk to him yet, Wes…" Cordy gasps, suddenly pulling away and crouching on the ground. "Please, Wes…the things I've done…please…he'll hate me…oh god…" She sobs.

"Okay, Cordy, okay…" Wes says, helping her to her feet. 

"Wesley?" Xander is standing outside.

"Xander. Can you take Cordelia into the basement sitting room?" Wesley asks.

"Wes, I thought…" Xander starts, confused. "Is it really Cordy?"

"That's what I need you to find out," Wes replies. 

"I'm right here and you guys are talking about me like I'm…" Cordelia starts.

"Xander. Get Cordy's story. You know ours. You probably know her well enough to get a good read," Wesley says, looking at Cordelia coolly.

"You trust this kid?" Gunn asks, nodding toward Xander.

"Yes, Charles. Xander is a part of this team. I'll be down in a little while, Xander." 

Xander smiles at Cordelia and takes her arm. 

"Do you want to handcuff me or something, Wes?" Cordelia asks, crying.

"I am sorry, Cordelia, that it has to be this way," Wes replies.

"It's okay, Cordelia. It'll all be cool as soon as we get everything settled. Okay?" Xander smiles at her, encouragingly.

"Oh, Xander, what's happened to you?" Cordelia asks, looking at his eyepatch.

"Your story first, Cordy." Xander leads her inside.

Wes turns to Gunn. "You're not exactly trusted, Gunn," Wes says quietly as they stand on the porch.

"Because of the white room job, I get it. What I don't get is why you trust me."

Wes hesitates. "I don't know, Gunn. Why don't you tell me why you called me?"

"Something's coming. I can feel it. We all can."

"What is it?" Wes asks, quietly.

"The Hellmouth in Sunnydale, it's closed. Buffy Summers sealed the west coast's major outlet for the supernatural. She plugged up the drain, Wes. Now all that activity, all that energy is just building up down there. It's about to break through. We're the weak spot, Wes. L.A." Gunn is serious.

"Everything cool out here?" Faith's voice interrupts them.

"You remember Gunn, Faith," Wes introduces. 

"Yeah." Faith goes to Wes' side and instantly steadies him. He didn't realize that he was swaying. 

"Is he okay?" Gunn asks Faith.

"Let's go inside," Wes says, leading them into the house.

"Wesley." Angel nods to Gunn. "We need…"

"Wait. Chill," Faith says suddenly. "We have some new players. Not everyone should be in this conversation," She says, glancing at Lindsey and Gunn.

"Lorne. Take Lindsey upstairs," Angel says. Wes tosses Lorne a handgun.

"Whoa. When did we start packing?" Gunn asks, startled.

"Shit's a little dangerous for people who don't live in transdimensional white rooms of evil," Fred replies, coldly.

"Fred. Can you take Gunn into the kitchen and make some coffee. It's going to be a long night," Wes sighs.

"Come on," Fred mutters, pulling Gunn from the room.

Wes, Faith and Angel are silent as they stand in the living room.

"Now that the hellmouth's closed, all the energies that used it as an outlet are trapped. It's about to break through and I'm told the weak spot is in L.A," Wes says, finally. He pours himself a glass of whiskey with shaking hands.

"Lindsey's getting the visions. He's been getting visions of an earthquake here that goes down in the middle of a thunderstorm. He says that it rains blood and the vampires and demons are dancing in the streets," Angel counters, pouring himself a drink.

"So. Angel's info is from a one-armed ex-lawyer with psychic powers. Where's your info from, Wes?" Faith asks.

"Gunn," Wes answers quietly.

"How does Gunn know that, Wes?" Angel asks, confused. "How does he know?"

Wes doesn't respond. 

"Wesley?" Faith goes to his side. His eyes are glazed and he doesn't acknowledge her. She snaps her fingers and he flinches. 

"Wes?"

"I'm here. Sorry. I trust Gunn, but we can't ignore that our information could be tainted. After Jasmine…can we really trust anybody's information?" Wes replies.

"What about Cordelia, Wes?" Angel asks, quietly.

"She remembers what happened, it seems. She's apologetic. Cried. She cried a lot. Xander's downstairs with her, getting the story," Wes whispers, sitting down.

The room is silent. 

"Wes, are you bleeding?" Angel asks, suddenly.

"I don't think so," Wes replies, honestly, standing up.

"I smell blood and…" Angel glances at Faith. 

Faith goes to Wes' side and pulls on his shirt, searching underneath for damage. She finds a bleeding gash in his side. "You stupid asshole…" She gasps, upset.

"What?" Angel joins Faith. "Damn, Wes, why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't look…I was thinking about other shit…I didn't notice…"Wes replies, surprised.

"You're trying to tell me you didn't feel that…" Faith accuses.

"Faith. I don't think he's lying," Angel says, stopping Faith.

Wes takes a few steps away. "I'm getting worse. I've been trying to deal with it, but I'm getting worse…"

"It's okay, Wes…" Angel interrupts, seeing the stress his friend is under. Faith punches him, her brown eyes flashing with concern.

"I'm going to go get cleaned up and then check on Cordelia. She doesn't want to see you, yet…" Wes starts, turning around.

"Okay," Angel says, quietly.

"We need to prepare for anything, Angel. This could be the biggest thing we've seen in a while," Wes sighs.

"I'm getting that. We need to talk when you're not bleeding and you can actually process what I'm saying," Angel replies, giving Wes a warning look.

"Come on," Faith doesn't let Wes protest, pulling him upstairs to his bedroom.

"Faith."

"Shut up. I'm the boss right now. Get in the shower, Wes. You've got fifteen minutes or I'm coming in after you. 

"Faith…"

"Now is not the time for the talking," Faith says. "I'm going to make some research calls and then you're going to start talking. Go on." 

Wes doesn't argue, stepping into the bathroom with a change of clothes.

Faith flips open her phone and dials Buffy. 

"Yeah?" Buffy answers.

"Hey, 'B. Anything weird going on out there?" Faith asks.

"Nope, it's blissfully quiet. What's up?"

"We've got a few rumblings out here. Possibly apocalyptic, but we don't know yet. Cordelia's awake," Faith says.

Buffy gasps. "Really? How's Angel? Is she evil because I don't think Angel could take that…"

"Wes thinks she might not be evil now. He put Xander on it," Faith replies. 

"Wes put Xander on it? Wow…"

"What's that supposed to mean? Xander's perfect for the job, he's impartial, he knows Cordelia, he can pick out a lie…"

"I know, Faith. I was just thinking that Wes must really trust him. Faith, do you guys need us?" Buffy asks.

"Not yet. I'm going to call Willow and Giles and see if they've heard anything. I'll keep you posted," Faith promises.

"Sure. Tell Angel that I'm here if he needs to talk."

"Okay, 'B." Faith flips the phone closed. 

"Faith," Wes calls, stepping out of the bathroom wearing a pair of faded jeans. His chest is criss-crossed with slashes. "Would you mind patching me up?"

"Sit down, Wes," Faith nods, taking the first aid kit from his trembling hands. 

"I lost it in the alley, tonight, Faith," Wes says, quietly. "I thought I had everything under control and then one of them cut me. I lost it. I went numb, I couldn't feel anything…it was like I wasn't even there…when you snapped me out of it…"  
"What can I do, Wes? How do I help you?" Faith asks, as she sits across from him on the bed, bandaging his bleeding wounds.

"I feel better now," Wes says.

"Liar," Faith replies. 

Wes sighs and Faith sees the exhaustion in his eyes. "I'm still a little shaky, Faith, but I know where I am, I know what's going on." He stands up as Faith finishes. He pulls a shirt on. "Thank you, Faith."

"Wesley. You took care of me when I needed it. You didn't ask questions, you didn't push me, you were just there for whatever I needed. I consider you a friend. I haven't had many of those in my life, Wes and I refuse to believe that as a friend I'm supposed to sit back and let you self-destruct." Faith stands up and goes to stand in front of Wesley, forcing him to meet her eyes. "We're coming up on some heavy shit and I trust Angel…but I trust you more. I need you thinking clearly. Angel needs your input. You're in no shape, Wes…"

"Okay, Faith. I get it," Wes says.

"No, you don't. We need you, Wes. Will you let us take care of you?" Faith asks.

Wesley nods, slowly. "I've been to see some people about my problem."

"Yeah? What kind of people?"

"Doctors. Shamans. Sorcerers," Wes replies.

"Really? Wes, why haven't you said anything?" Faith asks, startled.

"There are risks involved, Faith. I've been looking into them. I thought…" Wes sighs. "I thought I could handle it. But I can't." 

"Okay, that's better. Once we figure out what's going on around here, you'll talk to Angel about those options, right?" Faith asks.

"Yes, Faith. You're right. I'm being stubborn. I'm depending on you to keep me focused, Faith. If you see me drift off…"

"I'll take care of it, Wes." She hugs him. He returns her hug. 

She reaches up and kisses him on the forehead. "Let's go see Cordelia."

Angel is waiting at the base of the stairs. 

"Angel?"

"Lorne's downstairs with Xander. He wanted to read her," Angel says, quietly.

"Good idea. Right?" Faith asks, curious about Angel's mood.

"Can I talk to you, Wes?" Angel asks.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," Faith says, going to check on Lindsey.

"Cordelia," Angel whispers.

"She's back. How are you doing?" Wes asks, sitting down beside Angel on the stairs.

"I don't know. Is it really her?" Angel asks.

"I don't know. But when Gunn said that she was awake…I had to go get her," Wes replies.

"You didn't tell me," Angel states.

Wes is silent.

"You didn't think I could handle it?" Angel asks.

"No. I wanted to make sure it was true," Wes answers, honestly. "If someone wanted to get to you, Angel…it'd be through Cordelia."

Angel nods, slowly. "So you're not trying to protect me."

"What?" Wes asks, confused.

"You're not trying to keep me from bursting into tears like I did earlier."

"Angel, this…what was I supposed to do? You're our champion. The leader. And that woman downstairs turns you into pudding," Wes remarks. 

Angel is silent. "Pudding?"

Wes starts to laugh.

"You think I'm pudding?" Angel smiles despite himself. Soon, he is laughing, too.

"Oh my god, they've both finally lost it," Gunn says, entering with Fred.

"All right, Wes. I get it. Come find me when you're finished down there," Angel says, recovering.

"Is everything okay?" Fred asks, concerned.

"Yeah. Wes and I…we had a moment. But it's over now. Gunn? Let's talk." Angel leads Gunn and Fred into the other room. 

"Wesley?" Faith returns.

"Let's go see Cordelia."

Wes and Faith go into the basement. 

"Wesley." Xander meets him outside the door to the sitting room. 

"What is it?"

"I believe her," Xander says. "Something you said outside…she's scared of you…"

"I tried to scare her, Xander. I had to do something just in case…she was evil. She killed. We can't just accept her back without some precautions…" Wes sighs.

"I know, but I believe her," Xander replies, quietly.

"Tell me," Wes nods. He leads Xander and Faith over so he can sit on the base of the basement stairs. He absently lights a cigarette.

"Wesley? You don't smoke…" Faith gasps, startled.

"Just tell me the story," Wes replies, not meeting their eyes. 

"She…she really thought she was doing the right thing. Having the baby, getting pregnant in the beginning, she really believed it was her destiny. She had ascended to a higher plane, she was like a goddess. She had a chance to return to earth and complete a task for the higher powers. She returned…for Angel," Xander hesitates. "She really loves him."

"Go on, Xander," Faith urges.

"She agreed to return and promised to do what was right, she thought was she was doing was the answer to everything."

"So she knew what she was doing," Faith states.

"Wait, Faith." Wes has his hand to his head. "We were the same way with Jasmine. We were going to kill Fred for her," Wes remarks.

"The whole stuff with Connor, she was still in general control, but after…the rain of fire, after the Beast showed up…she was under her child's control. Cordelia actually calls it her child. She killed a girl so her child could be born."

"Shit," Faith gasps.

Xander sighs. "So she's been in a coma. Until a few days ago."

"What?" Wes asks.

"Yeah, Wes. She's been awake for a couple of days," Xander admits.

"Go on, Xander," Wes says, his eyes closed as he inhales deeply from the cigarette. 

"She woke up. She didn't know where she was but she knew that her child was gone. She knew what she had done. She knew that it was wrong…but she was scared. She's been awake for two days, lying there, pretending she was in a coma. She knows you came to visit her. Gunn came to her today, he knew somehow that she had woken up. He explained to her that she was at the law firm. He convinced her to let him call you," Xander finishes.

"Okay," Wes nods.

"Okay?" Faith asks. "All you can say is okay?" 

"Wes?" Xander asks.

"You believe her," Wes states, holding his head again.

"Yeah, I do. Lorne read her. He believes her, too. She's…she's so sorry…I mean, she killed people…Cordelia…" Xander shakes his head, still disbelieving.

"I need to talk to her," Wes sighs.

"Wes, will you go easy on her?" Xander asks, quietly. 

"Xander. If it's really true then she has nothing to fear." Wes steps into the room.

Lorne glances up, smiling slightly at Wes. He is seated on the small sofa with Cordelia, his arm around her. "Well, princess. I guess it's Wesley's turn. I'll be right upstairs, okay?"

Cordelia, her face still streaked with tears, nods sadly, curled up in the seat. Lorne hugs her and stands up to go.

"You okay, Wesley?" Lorne asks, stopping by him.

"Actually, Lorne, can you ask Faith to bring me the first aid kit from my room?" Wes whispers. "Headache." 

"Okay. Xander told you…" Lorne begins.

"Yes, Lorne. It's okay," Wesley promises.

Lorne leaves and Wesley sits down in the chair across from Cordelia. 

"Do you need anything? Coffee? Donuts?" 

"Wesley. I'm sorry…I…I thought I was doing the right thing…it felt right…" Cordelia says, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Cordelia. Has anyone told you about Jasmine?" Wes asks, taking her hands and silencing her.

"Who's Jasmine?"

"That's what…that's what we called her. Your child…" Wesley begins. Cordelia gasps, paling. Wesley goes on to explain their 'love for Jasmine' and the way they were all under her control. She listens, stunned as he describes their descent into the sewers and Angel's journey to the alternate dimension to defeat her. 

"Wesley…" Cordelia is stricken.

"We were all under her control. Even Angel. Fred was the first to see it, she saved us all. You were under her control, Cordelia," Wesley says, slowly. 

"But I knew what I was doing, Wesley! I mean…I killed Lilah!" Cordelia says, upset. Faith has entered with Wes' first aid kit.

"Don't worry about Lilah," Faith snorts, going to Wes' side. "Death didn't keep her down."

"Faith," Wes scolds.

"What?" Cordelia asks, confused.

"You okay, Wesley?" Faith asks, handing him the bag. 

"Headache," Wes replies, opening it and pulling out a bottle of prescription pills and popping several into his mouth. 

"You two are awfully cuddly…" Cordelia sniffles.

"Cordelia. So you're not evil?" Faith questions, straightening up.

"What about you?" Cordelia snaps, defensive.

"Ladies. Enough. There's not a person among us that can claim innocence. Except maybe Xander," Wes sighs.

"You were all scary outside, Wes," Cordelia whispers.

"Because if you're lying, I'll kill you," Wesley replies, seriously. "But I don't think you're lying."

Faith nudges Wes. "Wesley."

"Hmm?" His eyes are glazed and he is staring past Cordelia.

"Come back to me. Come on," She says, shaking him. He blinks, refocusing.

"Wesley, what's wrong with you? Xander's only got one eye and you're all spacy…" Cordelia starts to panic.

"Cordy, things have changed… Angel…" Wes begins. 

"Wes, please…don't make me see him…"

"Cordy. You have to see him. It's Angel. He'll understand. He needs you," Wesley says, squeezing her hands.

"You made him cry, Queen 'C'. You gotta talk to him," Faith agrees.

Cordelia takes a deep breath. "Okay."

"We'll find you some fresh clothes. You hungry?" Wes asks, allowing Faith to steady him.

"I've been eating through a tube, Wes. I'm starving," Cordelia smiles, sadly.

"Okay. I'll send Angel down. Everything will be fine. Okay?"

"Okay, Wes," Cordelia nods, steeling herself.

Faith walks out with Wes, a hand on the small of his back, steadying him. 

"Get Angel for me," Wesley says.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong with you," Faith says, sensing something wrong.

"I'm just not feeling well…"

"Wesley."

"My head is killing me, Faith, that's all." Wes sighs. "It's not unusual. The pills will fix me up. Okay?" Faith nods and goes upstairs.

"Wesley?" Cordelia steps outside into the main room. "Before Angel comes…I heard what you said, back when you thought I was still in the coma. Gunn told me…you came every day?"

Wes sighs. "Cordelia…"

"It means a lot to me, Wes," Cordelia says, quietly. "I'm sorry…"

"I know." Wes glances up and sees Angel standing at the top of the stairs. "We were useless without you."

"It's true," Angel says, now standing behind Wes, cautious.

"Our fashion sense has just crumbled," Wes confides.

"Wes tried to wear a pink shirt," Angel nods, his face blank.

"Salmon, the label said salmon," Wes protests.

"It was pink, Cordy," Angel winks.

A smile flashes on Cordy's face for an instant before her eyes fill with tears.

"I even tried to go shopping with Fred…" Wes sighs, dramatically.

"Stop it…" Cordy laughs, crying as they try to cheer her up. "Just stop…"

Angel glances at Wes, raising his eyebrows. Wesley nods. Angel lets himself believe that it is really Cordelia. He embraces her. 

"Oh god…I've missed you so much…" He sobs. She cries into his chest. 


	9. 9

*****

"…I don't want to be so complicated   
See my life come undone   
Watch it go and let the damage run   
I'd change the song now if I could   
In the slickness of your blood…"  
--Third Eye Blind

Wes walks upstairs.

"Everything cool?" Fred asks. Fred, Gunn, Faith, Xander and Lorne are standing around the doorway to the basement stairs.

"Things are coming together," Wes replies.

"Is there coffee? Let's get coffee. In the library so we can research…" Wes says, herding the group into the library.

"He still makes us research? Damn, Wes," Gunn jokes.

"I call Internet!" Xander says, running over and taking a seat behind the laptop in the library.

"Dammit," Fred and Faith say, in unison.

"I'm on coffee!" Lorne yells, disappearing.

"Dammit," Fred and Faith repeat.

"Ladies?" Wes asks, turning around.

"I'll take English translations," Faith sighs.

"I guess I get Latin," Fred replies.

"What do I get?" Gunn asks, smiling at the group's well-established ritual.

"Can you bring Lindsey down here?" Wes asks, suddenly. "He can pool his knowledge with yours and maybe we can narrow down some prophecies and better leads."

"I can do that," Gunn nods, leaving.

"Do you trust the one-armed guy?" Xander asks.

"Not at all. But he has the visions so I have to at least factor in his input," Wes replies, quietly.

Cordelia and Angel have finally stopped crying. They are holding each other, sitting on the stairs.

"You're not mad?" Cordelia whispers.

"Cordelia," Angel scolds.

"Angel," She replies in the same tone.

"I'm not mad. I wish it could have been different. I wish I could have protected you…"

"It wasn't your fault."

"It wasn't your fault, either." 

They both sigh.

"Things are really messed up, Angel."

"Not anymore," He replies. "You're back."

Cordelia hesitates. "But nothing has changed, baby, we still can't be together…"

"But you're okay," Angel interrupts. "You're alive. You're you. I can't be with you Cordelia, but it's enough for me to know that you're okay. Can it be enough for you to know…"

"You're okay. Okay. Okay, Angel. We're both okay," Cordelia nods, her hair bouncing.

Angel smiles. "Spunky. We haven't seen spunk in a while."

"Faith's not spunky?" Cordelia asks.

"Skanky," Angel whispers.

"What about Fred?" Cordelia gasps, amused.

"Spacy," Angel grins.

"You're awful!" Cordy laughs. 

"Cordelia," Angel says after a long pause. "I…I do, you know…"

"I know." She kisses his cheek. "I do, too."

"You ready to come upstairs?" Angel asks.

"Not really. I've missed a lot," Cordelia sighs. 

"We'll catch you up as we go. We've just got this minor…let's say catastrophe. We throw the 'apocalypse' word around too much." Angel says, taking her hand and leading her upstairs.

"Cool?" Xander asks, covering the cell phone that he has to his ear as he stands in the hallway.

"Yeah, Xan, everything's cool," Angel replies.

"Wait a fricking minute," Cordelia shrieks. "You two are getting along? I don't…I can't…this is some sort of alternate universe, right?"

Xander and Angel glance at each other. "He pays me," Xander says, after a pause. He hides a grin and returns to his phone call.

"Xander's changed," Angel whispers. "He's lost a lot. We understand each other better now. We've both loved you and lost you," Angel adds, walking away.

Cordelia walks up behind Xander, listening to his conversation.

"Willow," Xander is saying. "You don't need to teleport all the way out here…Kennedy needs you there and you know it…Willow, listen, you have an angry spirit after your girlfriend…" Xander acknowledges Cordelia with an exasperated grin. "No, Willow, I don't think you're an awful friend…Willow…Willow! I just needed to know if you've heard anything. Okay. I'll call you tomorrow. Promise. I love you, too." He hangs up.

"Xander, how's Willow?" Cordelia asks, worried.

"She's fine. What's up?"

"I've been out of it for a while," Cordelia replies. "I don't know…how's everyone, Xander?" She touches his cheek below the eyepatch, gently.

"Buffy's alive. Dawn's with her. Willow's in Louisiana with her girlfriend, Kennedy. Giles and Faith's ex are in Miami…" Xander begins.

"But Anya. You lost her?" Cordelia asks.

"It's okay, Cordy, we weren't together," Xander says.

"It doesn't matter. I'm sorry," Cordelia replies, hugging him.

"Me, too. Thanks," Xander nods.

"So, fill me it. What's up with Faith having an ex?" Cordy asks.

In the library, Angel walks in, surprised at the silence. Wes is hiding his face as he studies a large book. Fred and Faith are hunched over the laptop and Lindsey, Gunn and Lorne are flipping through books.

"Researching?" Angel asks, startling everyone except Wesley.

"Preliminary research," Wes replies, not looking up. "How'd it go?"

"Everything's cool," Angel replies.

"Who's in charge here, anyway," Lindsey asks, suddenly. "Is it you or Pryce?"

"Don't answer that," Faith snaps. "What's it to you?" She asks Lindsey.

"I just wondered…if I could get cleaned up. I didn't know who to ask," Lindsey replies, quietly.

"Why are you so…dirty?" Fred asks.

"I barely got out of Sunnydale with anything. These clothes, no truck. I hitchhiked this far and I've been sleeping on the streets until tonight," Lindsey admits.

"Come on," Wesley volunteers, standing up and stretching. "It's almost dawn. Let's everybody take a break. Get some sleep. Faith, you can handle getting everyone settled, right?"

"Yeah. I'll be up to check on you in a few minutes," Faith nods. 

Wesley leads Lindsey upstairs to his bedroom. "These should fit you, Mr. McDonald…" He lays a pair of jeans and a shirt on the bed.

"Lilah really did a number on you, didn't she?" Lindsey says. He raises his hands in defense as Wes glares at him.

"I really don't think you should talk to me about Lilah," Wesley says, quietly.

"Is there anybody else here that knew Lilah well enough for you to talk about her?" Lindsey responds. "She was my friend, well, as much of a friend as Lilah was capable of being…"

"Lindsey. Don't. There are things that you don't understand," Wes says, turning away.

"I know that when Wolfram and Hart went down with the beast, you saved her. Then Angelus bit her and you cut off her head…" Lindsey starts.

"Like I said. There are things you don't understand. Leave it alone," Wes says. "The shower's through there. We'll get you somewhere to sleep once you're done."

Lindsey opens his mouth to speak as Wes walks out of the room.

"There's a razor you can use on the counter," Wes says, answering Lindsey's unspoken question.

"Wes. You're not going to sleep are you?" Faith asks, standing outside his bedroom.

"Actually. I think I need some rest. A few hours at least. My head is still pounding…"

"What were those pills you took, Wes? Prescription, I noticed. The same doctor that was taking care of Robin? Dr. Harrison?" Faith asks.

"Yes, Faith. Dr. Harrison prescribed them. They're for my migraines…" Wes replies, vaguely.

"You're lying to me. Why are you lying to me, Wes?" Faith asks, reading something in his blue eyes.

Wes hesitates. 

"Wesley. You know I'm not asking to pester you," Faith says, quietly.

"I know. They're strong pain pills, Faith. Oxycotin."

"Isn't that what they give cancer patients, Wes? Isn't that pretty strong for migraines?" Faith replies, stunned.

"The pain isn't normal pain," Wes replies.

"Why don't you call him, Wes. Tell him that you're getting worse…" Faith says.

"There's nothing he can do. It's not a medical problem…" Wes replies, glancing up as Xander and Cordelia appear.

"What's not a medical problem?" Cordelia asks, curious.

"Nothing for you to worry about, Cordy. I'll be back in a few minutes, I need to make a few phone calls before I pass out for the morning." Wes ducks their concerned glances and disappears down the stairs. 

"Faith? Is he okay?" Xander asks, quietly.

"He's taking oxycontin for the pain, Xander…that's not good," Faith admits.

"What's wrong with Wesley?" Cordelia demands, worried.

"Lilah, she…she fucked him up. It's a long story, but she messed up his head. She put a bunch of spells on him…" Xander explains, his gaze locked on where Wesley disappeared to. 

"I thought she was dead…" Cordelia gasps.

"She had some kind of funky contract with the evil lawyers where she got to come back from the dead to broker a deal with us. She was wandering around, fucking with Wes' head for a few weeks before she got sent back to hell," Faith explains. "By the time anyone found out, she had…damaged him."

"Oh my god. That bitch…" Cordelia says, narrowing her eyes.

"Don't worry. She's burning somewhere. At least Wes isn't burning with her. He's just a little…fucked up," Xander replies. "You going to tell Angel?" 

"You think I should?"

"Tell me what?" Angel asks, startling them as he appears behind them.

"Wes. He's taking pain pills. Strong ones. Doctor prescribed pain pills, so he's obviously in enough pain to go to the doctor…" Faith says.

"Wes hates doctors. I'll talk to him," Angel nods.

****

****

"…Or stay, and let the day just fade away   
In wild dedication, take the moment of hope   
And let it run, and never look back at all the damage we have done now   
To each other…"  
--Third Eye Blind

"Angel. I…we…we found something." Lindsey voice wakes the dozing vampire. He recognizes Wes' library. Lindsey and Gunn are sitting across the desk from him, holding a book. Xander is asleep in the corner, his cell phone held open against his ear courtesy of a 'Dawn Summers conference call sleepover' with Willow and Buffy. 

"What?" Angel asks, alert now.

"Fred's gone to wake Wes. We can't read the language but look at the pictures," Gunn says, pushing the book out to him. He glances at Lindsey, clean and well shaven.

The book is in an ancient language that Angel doesn't recognize. In the illustrations, there is a color print of a devastating rain of blood, flooding the streets. There are pictures of the devil's mouth sewn closed. There are more pictures of a rift in the earth where vampires and demons are spilling out. 

"Fred's getting Wes?" Angel asks.

Fred finds Wes' bedroom empty. She hears voices from Faith's room. Inside, Wes is sleeping on the bed and Faith and Cordelia are sitting by the window, talking.

"We need Wes," Fred says, walking over to them.

"Faith and I have something in common," Cordelia grins.

"Coma," Faith replies. "What's up?"

"We need a translation. Why is Wes in here?"

Faith's eyes soften. "He had a little space out. Smashed his fist through his bathroom mirror. He just…collapsed. I didn't want to leave him."

"I can't believe that Wes still pulls this insomniac stuff. He has serious sleep issues," Cordelia whispers, worried, too.

"Should we wake him?" Fred asks.

"Can it wait?" Faith asks in return.

Wes' cell phone rings and he jolts awake, smoothly.

"Wesley Wyndham?" An unfamiliar voice asks. 

"Who is this?"

"This is Riley Finn."

Wes doesn't recognize the name.

"I used to date Buffy Summers. From Sunnydale," Riley continues.

Wes doesn't respond, intrigued.

"Are you there? Hang on…"

Wes, curious, waits.

"Wesley? This is the Groosalug…"

"Bloody hell," Wes laughs. The girls glance at each other, curious.

"No. This is Groo…"

"How are you? Are you in trouble?"

"There is danger coming to you. Despite my parting with the princess it is my duty to join you in this battle."

"Who's Riley Finn?" Wes asks.

"Whoa," Faith gasps.

"I met him in my travels. Angel will remember him…" There is a pause and then Wesley hears Riley speak.

"I was part of the Initiative in Sunnydale. Buffy can vouch for me if she's not still mad…Angel knows me. We've had…encounters in the past."

"Where are you?" Wes asks.

"At a hotel outside L.A. We're fighting either way, but we both figured that Angel would be on the front lines."

"I don't think we're in any shape to be refusing help, Mr. Finn, but I can't protect you from Angel's wrath. We can't tolerate personal issues interfering…"

"I'm ex-military. I understand that the mission is always first," Riley replies.

"Okay. Call me when you get into L.A. We'll arrange some things." Wes hangs up.

"I'm in deep shit," Wes sighs.

"Why who was that?" Cordelia asks, suspicious.

"We have an offer for reinforcements," Wes replies, quietly.

"Oh shit. Riley Finn? Buffy's ex?" Faith asks, pale with shock.

"And Groo."

"Groo?" Cordelia gasps.

"Is this bad?" Fred asks, her mind barely processing the possible conflicts. Riley is Buffy's ex. Groo is Cordy's ex. The two women that Angel has loved have been loved by these men.

"You have to tell Angel." Faith starts to laugh.

"Tell me what?" Angel enters. Cordelia starts to laugh.

"Your news first," Wes says, holding his head as he stands up.

Angel puts the book down on the bed, opened to the page Gunn and Lindsey showed him. Wes leans over it, studying it for a moment. He sits down.

"Wes?" Angel asks after a long pause.

"It's been a while since we have ourselves a real apocalypse," Wes says, not looking up. "We can't stop this."

"What?" Fred asks. Angel sees that Wes' eyes are glazed. He shakes him, gently.

"Wesley, explain."

Wes focuses. "Shit…"

"The book, Wesley…" Angel urges, not showing his concern.

"Fuck the book. We need to call everyone we know. Seriously." Wes' eyes are clear. 

Angel sees something in Wes' eyes. "Faith. Take everyone out for breakfast. Now."

"Hell no," Faith retorts, alarmed.

"I'm asserting my authority. Get everyone out of here. It might be the last time you get a break for a while," Angel orders. 

Faith hesitates but Cordy and Fred push her. "Okay, Angel, but when I get back I'm making sure Wesley eats a goddamn pancake and you drink at least a pint…" She yells until Angel closes the door on them. When he turns around, Wesley has started transcribing the pages into English into a notebook.

"Wesley."

"I'm sorry, Angel. I guess I got a little crazy there. I'm better."

"What's in the book?"

"It's an ancient prophecy. The language has been dead for…sorry, you don't care. Anyway, it describes the damming of the river of dark power creating an overwhelming backup of energy. It builds up and finally breaks through in a rift. Then there is a battle." Wes sighs. He resumes writing as he talks. "Forces united. Two fronts. Utter devastation. Nothing can survive…"

"Wesley. Keep going."

"It ends with the battle." 

"You're lying. We lose?"

"It doesn't say, Angel." Wes looks at him. "It doesn't say."

Angel nods. "Okay."

"I…I don't know, Angel. I really think that we should call in all the help we can get. Riley Finn and Groo have contacted me. They've volunteered."

"Riley Finn? Groo, I respect but Riley Finn? Wes, I don't like that guy," Angel growls.

"He seems to be travelling with Groo and he said that Buffy would vouch for him," Wesley replies.

"Buffy. I hate to call Buffy. The First was really hard on her. And Xander…it's just a real bad time for an apocalypse," Angel sighs.

"Angel. Listen to yourself. There's never a good time for an apocalypse. I think that for the first time we have more than a skeleton crew to fight with. Do you know how many slayers there are, Angel?"

"5,426 in the continental U.S." Angel catches Wes' questioning glance. "I'm a vampire. I know how many slayers there are."

"If there's going to be a battle, I think we have a chance," Wes says.

"No you don't. I can see it on your face. What's up, Wes?"

"I think…I'm going to be sick…" Wes runs past Angel into the bathroom. He returns a few minutes later, paler.

"I think I'm allergic to apocalypses," Wes sighs, sitting down and resuming his transcriptions. 

"Wes. You're not up to this, are you?"

Wes looks up, surprised. "What?"

"Faith said you were taking pills. Strong ones."

"The space-outs are getting worse, Angel, and now there's pain. The doctor is helping me keep going. I've…I've been to see some people that think they can help, but there are side effects to all the solutions that I've found."

"Like what?"

"There's a shaman that can restore me, but I'll have to sell my soul. A sorcerer told me of a spell that I can perform, but I'll have to embrace a tremendous amount of power that may well take me to the dark side. The doctors simply tell me that I'm chemically unbalanced and need extensive anti-psychotic medications."

"Wow," Angel replies.

"I was hoping that I could wait a while to decide, but it seems I'm getting noticeably worse."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. What would you do?" Wes replies.

"I'd call the sorcerer, Wes. It seems like the lesser of three evils," Angel replies after a pause. "Get the spell at least and once Willow gets here, we'll see what we can do."

"Okay. Sounds okay."  
"So Groo and Riley Finn are volunteering for our cause. That's…disturbing."

"Do you want to call Buffy or should I?"

"I'll call her. Once you finish that translation, you can call Giles. How do you think Faith's going to react if Robin Wood comes to town?" Angel asks. 

"I think…she'll survive. We have to put aside all the personal stuff for this fight, Angel. We're going to need all the help we can get," Wes replies. 

****

*****


	10. 10

*****

****

"…she just wanders around, unaffected by

the winter winds and she'll pretend

she's somewhere else, so far and clear

about 2,000 miles from here…"

**--Jack Johnson**

****

Angel sits down in the library with his cell phone. He dials Buffy's number from memory and takes a deep breath as he waits for her to answer. 

"Buffy here."

"Hey, Buffy."

"Angel."

"Yeah. Something's going down out here."

"You need me?"

"I'm sorry to say yes. It's big."

There's a pause on Buffy's end. "How big?"

"Big. You know how you closed the hellmouth?"

"Yeah?"

"Well. All the evil energies that used the hellmouth are building up. It's going to break through. Soon." Angel sighs. "I'm sorry, Buffy. We're calling in everyone that can help."

"Damn. I knew it was too good to be true. Dawn and I will make arrangements to fly out there in the morning. What do you think?"

"It's bad. We're still researching, but…Wes is really freaked by the little information that we have. He's translating it and calling Giles. I'm going to call Willow next. If there's anyone you can think of that could help…" Angel says.

"I'll put a call out to all the slayers that we can spare."

"There's something else. Apparently, the word is out about the heavy shit that's going down. We got a call from Riley and he's coming out."

"Wow. What about his wife?"

"I don't know. Wes didn't mention anything about a wife. Riley was with Cordelia's ex-boyfriend, Groo…"

"Small world, I guess. He just called you? Don't you guys hate each other?" Buffy asks, confused.

"Yeah. But he told Wes that this was important enough to overlook all that. Are you going to be up for this?" Angel asks.

"Yeah, Angel. I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have to save the world every few months. I just hate having to pull Dawn out of school…"

"You sure you want her here?"

"I've tried keeping her out of stuff before, you can ask Xander how well that went. She won't stand for it. She's stubborn…"

"Just like her sister," Angel smiles. 

"Stop it. I'll call you when we have definite plans," Buffy replies, her voice lighter.

"We'll make sure you have somewhere to stay. Thanks, Buffy."

"What are friends for?"

"I mean it. Thanks." Angel hangs up. He sighs and calls Willow. She agrees to call on her resources to find more help for the upcoming battle and promises to call when she makes travel plans. He talks her out of teleporting immediately and convinces her to take a plane with Kennedy.

Wes walks into the room. He drops his cell phone beside Angel's on the desk. "Giles is coming."

"Buffy and Willow are making their arrangements now. Who else?"

Wes sighs. "I'm not sure." 

Wes' cell phone rings. "Is my number listed somewhere that I don't know about?" Wes questions, picking it up. "Yes?"

"Wesley."

"Yes. Who's calling?"

"Oz."

"Oz? Werewolf Oz?"

"Yeah."

"You heard about what's coming, I take it," Wes responds, ignoring Angel's smile.

"Yeah. Your office is gone. The hotel's closed, too."

"Are you close by?"

"I'm outside the Hyperion."

Wes gives him directions and hangs up. 

"Oz?"

"Apparently. This is clearly a strange time. This is turning into a reunion," Wes replies. "I wonder who else…" He starts but is interrupted by Angel's cell phone ringing.

Angel raises an eyebrow as he answers it. "Yeah?"

"Mr. Angel…"

"Yeah. What's up?"

"We have something that needs to be brought to your attention," The voice says. "This is Mr. Gregson from Wolfram and Hart."

"What?"

"Are you familiar with William the Bloody?"

"You have to be joking."

"The only other recorded case of a vampire with a soul…"

"Yeah, I'm familiar. What's the deal?" Angel asks.

"Well, our records show that he perished in the Sunnydale incident but…"

"But what?"

"He has just resurfaced. He's been sighted at a demon bar downtown…"

"Give me the name, Gregson and I'll take care of it," Angel replies. "He's there now?" Angel asks after getting the name of a familiar bar.

"Yes, sir…" 

"Thanks." Angel hangs up.

"What?"

"Spike. Spike's back." Angel stands up and starts for the door.

"Are you certain?"

"Wolfram and Hart intel is usually pretty accurate…" Angel replies. "I'll drive. Are you coming?" He asks, pulling a dark blanket around his shoulders. 

"Why do you need me?"

"To keep me from killing him, Wes. Now come on," Angel answers.

*****

Faith and the others return to the house a few minutes after Angel and Wes leave. \

"What the hell? Angel orders us out of here and then he just up and disappears," Faith grumbles, sitting down heavily between Xander and Cordelia on the sofa. 

"No note, nothing. It must have been something important…" Cordelia replies. Gunn is sitting in an armchair and Fred is perched on the seat's armrest. Lindsey is leaning against the wall on the edge of the room. Lorne is napping quietly on the loveseat. 

When the knock comes on the door, Faith and Xander both jump. Xander, Fred and Faith ball up their fists for 'rock, paper, scissors.' Faith picks rock, Xander picks scissors and Fred picks paper. 

"Dammit," They all say. They all get up and go to the door.

"Hey."

"Oz? Is that you?" Xander gasps, startled.

"Xander. I didn't know you were a pirate," Oz replies, standing at the door with bright green hair and a goatee. 

"Yeah, I'm just waiting on my ship to come in," Xander replies.

"I called Wes. He gave me directions."

"Did he say where he was going?" Faith asks.

"Faith. Are you good again?" Oz asks, raising an eyebrow.

Xander waves his arm and Oz follows them inside. 

"Guys, this is Oz…" Xander introduces to the people that don't know him. Cordelia hugs him, surprised.

"Oz. Another Sunnydale refugee?" Fred smiles.

"Yeah, I heard it crashed and burned into a great big crater. Sorry I missed that," Oz replies.

"No, you're not," Xander replies.

"You're right. I'm not. I am here for this fight, though."

"How'd you hear about it?" Faith asks.

"Werewolves are kind of in tune with the underworld gossip. Word is big stuff's about to go down here. Really big stuff," Oz replies. 

"That's what we hear. Wes and Angel went AWOL but we expect to be briefed when they get back," Xander says.

"Soldier coming out in you?" Cordelia grins.

"What?" Xander is confused.

"Where's everyone else? I don't think I've ever seen you separated from Buffy and Willow…" Oz asks Xander.

"Buffy's in Cleveland. Willow's in Louisiana with her new girlfriend. I'm sure they'll be along as soon as they hear about this," Xander replies.

Oz nods.

"We don't have enough room for all these people," Fred says, quietly. "You think we should get some cleaners over to the Hyperion?"

"Probably a good idea," Gunn comments. 

"Where the hell is Angel? I mean, it's daylight, so it had to be pretty important, right?" Cordelia says. 

*****

****

  
"…Well based on your smile  
I'm betting all of this  
Might be over soon  
But your bound to win  
Cause if I'm betting against you  
I think I'd rather lose  
But this is all that I have…"

--Jack Johnson

"I really hate this place," Wes grumbles, waiting patiently in the foyer to the bar as Angel shakes out his smoldering blanket. It's the same bar that Wes and Faith visited when they were searching for Angelus and they scored the Orpheus that took him down. 

"I know. I wonder what the hell Spike is doing here."

"You really think it's him?" Wes asks.

"I can smell him. It's him." Angel ignores all the stares from the demons and leads Wes to the bar where a bleached blond man is sitting drinking whiskey.

"Spike," Angel says, sitting down on the stool beside him.

"Bloody hell. I knew this was a bad day, but this is beyond my expectations," Spike sighs.

"You died," Angel says.

"Is that what happened?" Spike glares at him.

"Why don't you tell us?" Wes asks, sitting down on the opposite side of Spike. 

"Watcher," Spike acknowledges him with a nod. "Last thing I remember, I was wearing this amulet," He holds up the gaudy necklace around his neck. "I told Buffy to get out and then…I guess the hellmouth closed and good 'ole Sunnydale exploded. Then I woke up down the street here. It's been a…month or so, I take it?"

"Several months," Angel replies.

"I still have my soul. I know that's what you're about to ask me. I don't know why the hell I'm here, though," Spike sighs.

"You haven't called Buffy?"

"I wouldn't even know where to start trying to reach her. I figure she's better off without me," Spike replies, quietly.

"I agree," Angel snorts. 

"Angel?" Wes calls.

"Where were you these last few months?" Angel asks, softening his tone.

"I don't know. The last thing I remember, I was in the hellmouth. I stumbled upon this place. How did you know I was here?" Spike asks.

"I have my sources," Angel replies.

"You come to kill me?" Spike questions.

"Pay your bill so we can go. There's trouble coming and like it or not, it seems like you're on our team," Angel sighs.

"Team?" Spike replies, confused.

"Just come on," Angel sighs.

"But it's daylight…" Spike protests.

"You can use the blanket," Angel replies, standing up.


	11. 11

****

"…Truth is natural like a wind that blows   
follow the direction no matter where it goes   
so it shall be the earth and the sea   
let the truth blow like a hurricane through me…"  


Angel runs into the house with the blanket covering his shoulders and head. Wes walks to the door behind him and takes the smoking blanket back to the SUV for Spike. 

"Where the hell have you been?" Faith accuses as Angel waits in the shade for Wes & the hidden Spike to make it inside.

"We had to be somewhere," Angel replies.

"Whoa. Wait a minute," Xander gasps, recognizing Spike as everyone files into the hallway.

"Spike?" Oz asks, his face placid. "This is still the side of the good, right?"

"Well, we certainly hope so," Riley Finn states, walking up with Groo.

"Let's get everyone downstairs in the war room for introductions and explanations," Wes suggests.

"Groo. Good to see you," Fred smiles, shaking the champion's hand.

"Riley. Where's Sam?" Xander asks.

"Dead. Nine months tomorrow. Where's your wife?" Riley questions.

"Anya? Never my wife. Dead four months," Xander replies.

"Let's go, boys," Faith urges them downstairs. The training room in the basement doubled as a "war room". They simply pushed the equipment aside and lined up chairs around the chalkboard that currently has an unfinished game of hangman on it.

Faith stops Wes and Angel at the top of the stairs after everyone else has gone down the stairs. "What's going on?"

"We're about to tell everyone," Angel replies quietly.

"I'm not everyone. I want to know what we're up against that we're having to call for reinforcements," Faith counters.

"Come downstairs, Faith. It's all about to be explained," Wes says, his voice calming her as they start down the stairs.

There is a dull roar as everyone reacquaints themselves. Cordelia and Groo are talking nervously. Xander is filling Oz and Riley in on the battle of Sunnydale that cost him his eye. Spike is talking quietly with Lorne while Fred watches him, warily. Lindsey and Gunn are discussing the hangman game.

"Faith. After the meeting, would you mind taking a ride with me?" Wes asks as Angel goes to greet Groo. 

"Where?"

"To see a sorcerer about a spell," Wes answers. He ignores her worried glance and swallows a pill. 

"Getting worse?"

"Yeah. And I think we should talk about who's coming to town tomorrow."

"What?" Faith asks, narrowing her eyes.

"He's coming with Giles. He can't fight but he can run the communications and coordinate the troops. Giles insisted," Wes whispers.

"That's seriously not cool," Faith replies.

"Quite a few people are going to be uncomfortable in the coming days but we just have to remember that we're on the same side." Wes puts a hand on her shoulder and she looks at him. "You aren't alone, Faith. I'll be with you. We can get through it. Xander and Angel are here with you. Don't let him get to you, okay?"

"Okay. Robin…It might be okay. I think I might be able to handle it. So are you going to start this party?" Faith smiles.

Wes glances over to Angel who is glaring at Riley, openly hostile. Cordelia is glaring at Spike and Gunn is glancing between them both, preparing to defend his friends. 

"Angel? You want to explain and sit down?" Wesley calls. "We are all colleagues here. We have to put away our differences…" 

"But Spike's evil!" Cordelia protests.

"He has a soul. Don't you?" Xander asks.

"Yeah. I have a bloody soul," Spike sighs.

"Oh. Okay. My bad," Cordelia replies, pouting.

"We're all adults here and we're all on the same side. We have work to do." Wes turns to Angel and nods, sitting down beside Faith in a chair on the front row. 

"An apocalypse…" Angel starts.

"Another one? Are you serious?" Xander protests, sarcastically.

"Yeah. Here's what Wes translated from the prophecy…" Angel passes out several sheets of paper. 

Faith studies the words detailing the battle that is to come. She glances at Wesley, who is trembling beside her. She nudges him, concerned.

"So this is the battle to end all battles," Gunn mutters. "I thought we fought that battle already."

"Yeah, this is the real one, though, from the looks of this," Fred replies.

"So what are we going to do?" Riley asks, looking at Angel.

"We're going to be ready for whatever comes. We have a few days to prepare and we're calling in everyone we can to help us fight…" Angel responds, glancing at Wes.

"I know some people I can call," Oz nods. 

"Yeah, I have some connections. Weapons probably, if you think we need them," Riley volunteers.

"Good. Buffy and the others are on their way. We'll discuss the major strategies then when Giles and Wes can pool their information.

Wesley gets up suddenly and walks from the room. Faith glances at Angel, confused before following him. She follows the sound of his retching into the bathroom on the ground level. She waits for him to step out, looking dazed.

"So. You want to go see that sorcerer now, Wes?" Faith asks, taking his arm to steady him. 


	12. 12

****

AN: Yeah, I'm finally updating. I seem to have dug myself into a hole with all these characters, but the interactions were really intriguing me. I just finished watching SEASON 2 of Angel on DVD, so expect more out of Lindsey and more delving into the relationships between Angel, Wes, Cordy and Gunn. Hopefully this will whet the appetite of any readers I have left and for once, stuff seems to be coming together for this story, at least the next part of this still expanding saga. And more of the Scoobies are on the way! Woohoo!

"…Come down hard and roll to my feet   
And rain washes blood now off concrete   
People turn away and I just had to laugh   
Cause I'm still flying   
Living and dying…"

--Third Eye Blind

"You really think this is going to work, Wes?" Faith asks, helping him outside to his SUV. 

"I hope so…" Wes replies, staggering suddenly. 

Faith steadies him by wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Where are you guys sneaking off to?" Xander calls from the doorway.

"We'll be back in a few hours, Xander…" Faith starts.

"Come on, Xander, hop in," Wes interrupts. "Let's take a short break before the calvary arrives."

Xander glances at Faith, curiously, but jogs up to the SUV. Faith helps Wes into the back seat as Xander climbs into the driver's seat.

"Where are we headed?" Xander asks, starting the truck.

"There's a sorcerer that might be able to help Wesley. We're going to see him," Faith explains, glancing over the seat to check on Wesley.

"Her name is Gretchen…" Wes starts.

"Gretchen?" Xander questions, disbelieving.

"She's a high priestess…she's been asking me to come to her for weeks…"

"Why haven't you gone?" Faith asks, gasping as Wes' nose starts to bleed. 

"I have…the spell purges my system of the damaging magic but it…supercharges me with power…I have…" Wes closes his pained eyes. "I have to embrace the darkness…"

"That doesn't sound good," Xander comments. "Maybe we should talk to willow or…" Faith begins.

"There's no time…" Wes replies, quietly.

"What do you mean there's no time?" Faith repeats, cautiously, meeting Xander's eyes in the rear view mirror.

"I'm dying," Wes states flatly.

"Shit," Xander whispers.

*****

Angel, Gunn, Spike, Lindsey and Riley are gathered in the basement, looking over a map of the city of L.A. 

"What's this meeting? Is this safe?" Cordelia enters, glancing at the strange group of people gathered. 

"Gunn and I know L.A., Lindsey knows about the vision, Spike has a good eye for places of evil and Riley's military," Angel explains. "He can help us come up with a battle plan."

"We're already starting on a battle plan?" Cordelia questions.

"Damn…" Lindsey gasps suddenly. "Everybody step back," He says, pushing his chair back and staggering away from the group. 

"What is it?" Riley asks.

"Vision?" Cordelia questions.

Lindsey falls to his knees as blue energy surrounds him.

"Bloody hell…do you feel that?" Spike asks Angel.

"Pain," Angel replies, wincing.

The blue light disappears with an audible 'pop' but Lindsey remains crouched in the corner.

"Lindsey?" Riley calls.

"Did you know that Pryce is dying?" Lindsey asks, his eyes still clenched closed.

"Wes?" Gunn asks.

"Did Lilah do something to him? He's dying, his body's giving out," Lindsey replies, falling to a sitting position.

"Are you sure?" Cordelia gasps, tears in her eyes.

Lindsey shakes his head, trying to clear it. His eyes are slightly glazed. "Faith and the kid…Xander…they really need to hurry…"

"Hurry where?" Angel demands.

"The witch…sorceress…they're taking him for help but…" Lindsey covers his face with his good hand. "Something's wrong…ambush…"

"Ambush?" Riley questions.

"Lindsey, can you make a little more sense?" Angel growls, impatient.

Gunn is dialing a phone and Spike disappears upstairs. 

"Lindsey?" Cordelia calls, calming Angel with a hand on his shoulder.

"Faith and Xander are taking Wes to a witch. So he can do something incredibly stupid and no die. We have to get him there," Lindsey says, struggling to his feet.

"What? That's not sense…" Angel mutters.

"Keys. Now. We have to get Wes to the witch so he can not die. I get it. Keys," Riley demands, standing beside Angel and holding out his hand for the keys to the car.

Cordelia pulls Angel's keys from his pocket and hands them to Riley before he can respond. Riley pulls Lindsey upstairs, followed closely by Gunn. 

"Cordy…" Angel gasps, startled.

"No. You wait. It's sunny out and they'll be faster," Cordelia explains. "It doesn't seem like we have too much time to waste…did you see Lindsey's face? He knows that it's desperate." They hear tires squeal.

Angel stands up, turning to Cordelia. "I just…I just got you back…and Wesley…I can't…I can't do this…"

"Can't do what?"

Angel and Cordelia both glance up in surprise.

"Buffy," Angel says.

"What's the crisis?" Buffy asks, walking downstairs. "Where is everyone?"

"There's no one upstairs?" Cordelia asks.

"A green guy let me Dawn and I inside," Buffy replies, her concern growing as she sees Angel and Cordy's surprise.

"Where's…" Cordelia starts.

Dawn lets out a piercing shriek and Angel and Cordelia follow Buffy upstairs in a rush.

"Spike?" Dawn gasps, latching onto Buffy as she appears at the top of the stairs.

"Oh my god…" Buffy whispers.

*****


End file.
